Like many other decent-minded Scots I was appalled when one of our esteemed national newspaper titles chose to deploy the language of the gutter in describing those SNP politicians who lost their Westminster seats.
The Times reported that these unfortunate men and women are being described as the ‘Filth’, this being an acronym for Failed in London Try Holyrood.
Some might regard this as snappy and pithy, but I disagree. Some of those who lost their jobs on July 4 were among the hardest-working politicians I’ve recently encountered who laboured tirelessly for their constituents and to advance the cause of independence.
This, of course, is not the point. Even the bams, weapons, roasters and rockets among the SNP’s Westminster group don’t deserve to be referred to as ‘Filth’.
And besides, we don’t need any reminders of the heightened dangers our elected representatives have recently faced following the attempted assassination of former US President Donald Trump.
Using terms such as ‘Filth’ seems designed to undermine public confidence in our politicians. I feel strongly that we all die a little when such terms are used: you, me, politicians and the mighty Times itself.
I bow to no-one in my admiration for this great London organ, but feel that if public confidence is to be restored in its ability to scrutinise and hold our public servants to account they must issue a public apology for crossing the line into irresponsible and lazy tropes.
That all said, there is widespread and understandable angst - even in the Scottish nationalist community - that some of the most feckless performers at Westminster might try to insinuate themselves into favourable positions for the Scottish election in 2026.
To prevent this occurring, I’d be in favour of forming an extra layer of examination when comes the time for the next Holyrood selection to begin. This would apply only to those former Westminster MPs seeking to re-board the gravy train.
This special committee should seek answers to the following questions: On how many occasions did you mention the word ‘independence’?
To what extent would a reasonable chiel consider your words and deeds to have been a national disgrace and an occasional embarrassment?
Could we trust you to get the messages in an average food shop at the Co-op?
Could you find a selected number of locations from your former constituency without the use of a SatNav?
Could you similarly find a selected number of locations in the constituency you hope to represent?
I feel this would sort out the wheat from the chaff.
Donald and the Devil
I was appalled last week at the attempted assassination of the former US president, Donald Trump.
A few days after the vile deed I encountered our local parish priest who correctly predicted that it wouldn’t be long before Mr Trump would be claiming that he survived the attempt on his life because God was on his side.
I think though, that we might also consider giving the Devil his due here.
Mr Trump is a convicted felon after being found guilty on 34 charges of falsifying business records. He has faced multiple claims of sexual abuse and harassment. He has boasted openly of ‘grabbing women by the pussy’. He dehumanises immigrants and his rhetoric around international diplomacy won’t reduce your life assurance premiums any time soon.
I’d say that if there was a supernatural element in Mr Trump’s deliverance there’s a good chance it involved the Father of Lies and not God.
Business blah
Having issued a friendly warning to my good friends at The London Times about their language I’d now like to attend to another idiomatic curse of our times: the dismal argot that passes for discourse in civic Scotland.
On one social media business platform, I recently spotted this: “…the status quo is not an option, as it will almost inevitably lead to failure – possibly catastrophically so. The scale and pace of change required is considerable but none of this is new, and the took-kit required has been tried and tested in situ, eg: the use of ZBB, not only to ‘take back budgetary control’ but to better set the strategic role of members and the operational responsibilities of officers in their relative terms, recognising where that interface demands flexibility and where it requires separation”.
I’m sure this piece of shape-shifting analysis is well-intended and springs from a desire to improve the life of the nation. I think though, that several prominent people in our business communities require a seminar in plain-speaking and simple expression.
Going south
Amongst the cohort of SNP politicians who lost their seats the other week was Chris Stephens, who represented Glasgow South West for nine years.
I’ve known Mr Stephens for several years and had the privilege of accompanying him as he campaigned on the doorsteps of Pollokshields last month.
He represents everything that all politicians should aspire to. He is hard-working; authentic and unstinting in supporting marginalised ethnic communities in his constituency. He was also tireless in backing the rights of workers in the face of the attacks made by successive Tory governments on them.
No SNP member has done more to advance the cause of independence in Scotland’s trade unions. He is one of a very few number of former SNP MPs I’d like to see at Holyrood.
Mr Stephens was replaced by Labour’s Zubir Ahmed, a very eminent Glasgow consultant surgeon. I’ve heard good things about Mr Ahmed and wish him all the very best.
I fervently hope that our hard-pressed NHS can spare him the time needed to represent adequately the good people of Glasgow South West.
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