One of my all-time favourite quotes reads: “Your new life is going to cost you your old one.” It forms part of a longer passage by the US author and essayist Brianna Wiest in her best-selling book, The Mountain Is You, reflecting upon what it means to break out of your comfort zone.
The fear, tough sacrifices, soul-searching, candour, bravery and sense of loss that must be navigated in order to swap monotony for magic.
To that end, the definition of a “comfort zone” looks markedly different for each of us. Not everyone wants to push the boundaries of human endeavour by scaling a lofty peak or rowing across an ocean.
Often it can be smaller aspirations - to make new friends, do public speaking, take a solo trip or try different foods - that light a spark in the pursuit of a happier and healthier life.
Lately, though, I have noticed that “comfort zone” has evolved into something of a problematic trope within the pop culture lexicon - a trite, one-size-fits-all colloquialism that is wildly open to misinterpretation and manipulation.
A bit like when people wrongly say “depressed” to mean a little bit sad, or use “OCD” as an incorrect synonym for being organised, telling someone to “ditch the comfort zone” can be an unscrupulous attempt to twist their arm into doing something they don’t particularly want to.
Such as being coerced into socialising or going places to suit someone else’s agenda, when they’d far rather stay at home with cosy pyjamas on, eating Kettle Chips and watching Netflix.
Leaving the house in that scenario is not a test of mettle: it’s actually the opposite. It is falling into the trap of being a people-pleaser. And there is no joy to be found there either - only spirit-crushing misery.
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Ultimately, only you can define the parameters of your comfort zone. Throughout my life I have craved equilibrium. That watershed epiphany where it feels like all the pieces of the puzzle slot into place and a sense of calm descends.
I had long imagined that would happen when I found a space where I wanted to stand still, enveloped in a cocoon of peace and tranquillity.
Instead, I have discovered that the sweet spot, for me, is to be in perpetual motion. I don’t mean that in a restless, ants-in-your-pants type way, but rather I've come to learn that I’m someone who loves to be continually setting and pursuing new goals.
Otherwise, I find myself lapsing into a listless funk, like a Victorian lady languishing in a stuffy drawing room.
Stepping out of your comfort zone is hard. Yet, staying in your comfort zone will, as time passes, hurt even more. The pain of regret. A life half-lived.
Nothing ever truly grows in a comfort zone. It is only beyond the walls of this cosseted citadel that the best version of you can blossom and thrive.
For me, I've found running to be the perfect conduit. Although, as I have built my distance and tackled bigger challenges, I've had a few folk jokingly ask: “What are you running from?”
It’s an excellent question. On one hand, there is a powerful symbolism in putting an ever-growing number of miles between me now and the version of me who, for years, was shackled by inertia that stifled her dreams.
In truth, the direction of travel isn’t about escape, but rather moving with purpose towards the things that make my heart soar and bring a life-affirming sense of achievement.
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Surely there's an easier way to have a midlife crisis than running?
Nor is it about winning against anyone else. Comparison is the thief of joy. The only real competition is me versus me. Or more accurately: current me vs future me. Raise the bar. Do more of what scares you. I can highly recommend it.
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