TO Holyrood once more where the Scottish Greens are continuing our longest-running cabaret act. If there was an annual award for the world’s most absurd political party, Patrick Harvie’s muppet show would do Scotland proud. 

It was revealed last week by Holyrood Magazine they had moved to expel 13 members who had signed the Scottish Green Declaration for Women’s Sex-Based Rights. 

In strict layperson’s terms these Green activists had simply restated what science knows and what makes the world go round: that if you’re born a man you can’t be a woman, no matter what surgery is done to you or whatever certificates you have.  

Among the main reasons why real women feel this can’t be stated often enough are their concerns that gender self-ID – no matter how well-intentioned – has provided opportunities for predatory and violently abusive men to access women’s and girls’ private spaces. 

This was laid bare last year when the double rapist Isla Bryson, aka Adam Graham, decided to become a woman after committing two rapes. 

The respected former prison governor Rhona Hotchkiss has long borne witness to the threat that violent men presenting as female pose to vulnerable women in the female prison estate.

The Scottish Greens’ denial of science and expulsion of real women reminds you of old Hammer horror movies when masked mobs with burning crosses descend on badly-behaved 
and mouthy women, seeking to silence them.

Mr Harvie’s medievalists are not having a good year. In their bid to drive Scotland back to the book-burning age, they’ve cost taxpayers tens of millions in Lorna Slater’s chaotic deposit return bottle scheme and made Scotland a source of international bemusement with their boiler replacement scheme and wood-burning stove nonsense. 

What next? Will they seek no-warning school inspections to ensure our children’s reading materials carry the Stonewall kitemark? 

Following Ross Greer’s recent public declaration of his Christianity, will he be examining the faith beliefs of all other believers to ensure they are “Green-approved” Christians? 

Aye way to hell
THE SNP in the ruinous Sturgeon/Yousaf/Swinney era seem to be competing with the Scottish Greens in making the world giggle when the word “Scotland” is mentioned. 

Similar to the Greens, each week reveals fresh evidence that the SNP have become a psycho party.

Even if the Taliban were running the UK Government you wouldn’t vote for Scottish independence if it meant that some of these dangerous chancers might still be in charge. 

Last week, Ash Regan revealed just how much of a vindictive and tawdry clown show this party has become. Ms Regan, you’ll recall, was forced out of the SNP after party chiefs discovered the presence of a moral compass about her person without her first having sought permission to do so.

The Herald: Ash Regan said she wanted to see progress on independence

The Alba MSP recalled how, in 2018, she’d been called by a special adviser and told to “unlike” a tweet from a party colleague who was then persona non grata with Nicola Sturgeon and the party hierarchy. 

She recalled on another occasion how another member had been woken in the middle of the night by loud banging at her door. 

This turned out to be a newly-assembled SNP hit squad who’d been tasked with making unannounced visits to party members. Their purpose? To examine their fridges and pantries for evidence of delinquent comestibles that didn’t align with the party’s values. 

Right, okay: only one of the last two paragraphs is true. Use your skill and judgment to discern which one.

Lobbying ‘succubi’  
WE’RE often told that we get the politicians we deserve: from MPs and MSPs to local councillors, and right down to the bottom-scrapers and succubi who work in lobbying firms.  

Yet, what on Earth have the Scottish population done to deserve the rogues and misfits who currently represent us at Holyrood and Westminster and civic Scotland’s town halls?

Last week, we also discovered, via a concerned citizen on Twitter, that Gillian Mackay, a Green Party MSP, had refused to meet with a constituent who had wanted to discuss gender self-ID with her. 

This was a clear breach of MSPs’ basic legal duties to represent all their constituents unless there is a legitimate reason not to do so.

Apparently not, though. 

What passes for Holyrood’s standards guardianship stated that Ms Mackay was perfectly entitled to patch her constituent on the grounds that their beliefs were contrary to 
hers. That means, then, that I will be utterly Donald ducked if I ever wanted to enlist the aid of any of the myriad politicians representing my ward and constituency. 

I can count on no fingers the number of issues with which they and me agree on. 

Balls to FM’s take
But perhaps I’m being too harsh on the poor bloody infantry of Holyrood. If you thought they were bad check out this semi-literate nonsense from the man who has just assumed the folderols (and large pay increase) that come with being First Minister of Scotland. 

This was John Swinney on being asked to define what he thought a woman was. Our new First Minister rose to his full intellectual height and declared that a woman was “an adult female born as a woman” but also that “transgender women are defined as women”. 

The Herald:

He also said that he “will do nothing to threaten the safety of women”. Of course he won’t. He seems a decent and gentle enough chiel – everyone says so.

It’s just that his supine second sentence enables some men who aren’t as decent as him to endanger women by pretending to be one. 

Mr Swinney really needs to grow a robust set of haw maws and pretty damn quick. 
In a purely figurative sense, you understand.