Fun run?

THE Diary delights in celebrating extraordinary feats of human endeavour.

Only last week our copyboy, Junior (who happens to be 97-years-old), managed to bend down and tie his shoelace.

Admittedly, he became stuck in this position, and hasn’t been able to straighten up since. Which is a tragedy for the rest of the office, who now have to make their own tea and navigate round Junior to reach their desks.

Meanwhile, we’ve been reporting on an equally astonishing achievement.

Rugged racing chap, Russ Cook, recently became the first person to run the length of Africa.

Reader Jenny Leslie followed Russ’s adventure avidly, and says:  “Is there any truth to the rumour that during his run he had to jog half the way back again, after accidentally dropping his key chain and wallet in Namibia?”

 

Rocky ruminations

A PHILOSOPHICAL thought from reader Jane Morgan: “Why does paper beat rock in rock-paper-scissors?” she asks.

“Paper wrapped round rock just makes rock nice and cosy.”

 

The darkness

A DAZZLING astronomical spectacle at the beginning of the week is still being discussed, with reader Joe Reeves marvelling at its majesty.

“I was stunned when the eclipse took place and everything was plunged into darkness,” he says. “Then I remembered I live in Scotland, and the place has been plunged into darkness since the dinosaurs were in nappies.”

 

Funny for nothing

ON social media Glasgow actor and pop music scholar, Sanjeev Kohli, provides free historical analysis by explaining: “Dire Straits were formed in Wandsworth Prison where they were known as The Sultans of S Wing.”

 

Mind your language

THE teenage son of reader Sean Price revealed he wants to study English at uni. Sean inquired why.

Replied the youth: “I was flipping through the prospectus and saw English. I thought, I speak that. How hard can it be?”

 

Mild at heart

AUTHOR Deedee Cuddihy was on the Glasgow Underground, beside a group of men and women who she gathered were going on a works night out.

Discussing one of their absent colleagues, one of the chaps said: "Let's face it, he's just an ineffectual beta male." 

Deedee looked up the term beta male later, and was shocked to discover that the poor fellow was being described as "weak, mild-mannered and unimpressive".

“Ouch!” winces Deedee, who adds: “What's wrong with being mild-mannered?”

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What the Dickens

DISAPPOINTED fiction fan Craig Long says: “I recently read Great Expectations. Unfortunately it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be.”