Picture perfect
A DIARY yarn about sassy students reminds Allan Boyd from Clarkston of a tale his mother heard from a fellow educator in the school where she taught.
This chap, who went by the name of Mr Brown, was an art teacher.
He was once in charge of a peaceful and contented class, where the pupils were busy working, thus enabling Mr Brown to relax at his desk, pencilling a sketch.
This precious moment of calm creativity was suddenly interrupted by the appearance at his side of young Michael, the one laddie in class who found it impossible to sit still for any length of time.
Casting a considered eye over the teacher’s work, this budding art critic ventured his opinion.
“Jings,” said he. “That’s no bad, sir. You could have been an artist.”
Hot and bothered
THE son of Alexander Taylor from Stirling recently moved into a house with a wood-burning stove.
“He tells me it works with an app, which is annoying,” says Alexander, “as he has to log in every time he uses it.”
Woeful weather
THE extreme meteorological conditions that Scotland is enduring has inspired our readers to devise book titles reflecting the circumstances.
Chris Robertson suggests Gulliver’s Travel Delays.
Anger management
IN a café in Glasgow city centre, reader Roberta Harris overheard two young women chatting.
One of them admitted that the absolute cad she had been dating had split up with her.
“Aw, you okay, doll?” inquired her friend.
“I’ll get over it,” sighed the dumped damsel. “As long as I get tae huv a wee hissy fit first.”
A stitch up
WE mentioned the world’s most successful pop star, which inspires reader Jack Beattie to admit: “I always assumed Taylor Swift was somewhere I could get my trousers fixed when I was in a hurry.”
El on earth
THE Bab-el-Mandeb is a strait between the Arabian Peninsula and the Horn of Africa, and it translates into English as the Gate of Tears.
When reader Alastair Macpherson was a pupil at Glasgow’s Hillhead High in the 1950s there was a fearsome geography teacher, so a bold pupil scrawled Bab-el-Mandeb on the wall above his classroom door.
Thus proving that the teachers of yore were truly terrifying.
On the plus side, they were adept at instilling esoteric knowledge of far-flung geographical regions in the minds of their cowering acolytes.
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Flight of fancy
“WHY do seagulls fly over the sea?” asks reader Liz McCourt. “Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.”
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