Food for thought
SCOTTISH novelist Jenny Colgan is visiting Canada where she’s looking for dining recommendations in Montreal and Quebec.
Explains Jenny: “I have eaten fermented shark, plenty of haggis and a live octopus in my time, but I am not entirely sure I can handle poutine.”
(NOTE: We are reliably informed that poutine is a Canadian delicacy where chips and cheese curds are splurged in gravy. Which sounds much nicer than live octopus, and we’re almost certain that the octopus would agree with this assessment.)
You say Taumata…
THE Diary recently mentioned a hill in New Zealand that the natives have inexplicably named Taumatawhakatangihangakoau auotamateapokaiwhenuakit anatahu.
Furthermore, we wondered if it is possible to pronounce this lengthy word without running out of breath.
Reader Michael Gray gets in touch with a suggestion.
“Whenever this cumbersome New Zealand location needs to be mentioned,” he says, “five or six people should be herded together, and each of them should be responsible for vocalising a different segment of the word.
“So the first person says ‘Taumata’, the second says ‘whaka’… and so on. Clearly this is the only safe and sensible way of reaching the end of the word without inflicting any unnecessar casualties.”
READ MORE: 'Wee sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous Mickey, If I wis ye I'd pull a sicky'
Ample author
ONCE more we return to the curious phenomenon of nominative determinism.
David Donaldson was perusing a copy of Sainsbury’s Magazine when he came across an article by a food journalist who goes by the name of Linda Tubby.
No doubt she was known as Linda Svelte before forging ahead with the food scoffing-and-scribbling business.
Sweetly savage
IN a Glasgow city centre bar, reader Donna Balloch overheard a young lady confess to a gal pal: “I’m filled with hate, but in a cute way.”
Mad love
A RECENT Herald article reported scientific research which concluded that dopamine flooding the brain is the key to first love. Jon Cossar from Edinburgh says: “Presumably, dopeymine is the key to crazy love.”
READ MORE: What's this about New Zealand? It's a long story
Spellcheck
THE Newton Bar on the Millport seafront once had a sign prominently displayed over the optics which declared ‘CREFDIT’, recalls Peter Wright from West Kilbride. Peter adds: “Many new and apparently well educated customers pointed out that there was no ‘F’ in credit, to which the barman would reply, ‘Correct, sir. Now what would you like to drink?’”
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Sneaky stairs
EXCELLENT advice is provided by Ian Noble from Carstairs Village, who warns us: “Never trust steps - they’re always getting up to something.
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