Liquid solution
THE Diary is obsessing over the thrilling sport of darts, which is surely the modern version of those epic gladiatorial battles that once took place in Rome’s Colosseum.
Of course, nobody dies playing darts. (Though a few players have fallen in their prime, tragic victims of too many portions of battered sausage and chips.)
Alas, the charismatic Luke Littler fell in combat at the Darts World Championships earlier this week.
Reader Tom Fenn says: “The problem is he’s only 16 years old, which meant his darting hand went a wee bit wobbly with nerves in the closing stages of the match. But those shaky moments will evaporate in a few years, when he’s old enough to drink.
“There’s nothing like nine pints of Guinness and an equal number of whisky chasers to steady the old nerves.”
Taking the Mickey
WE mentioned that Disney’s copyright on its most iconic cartoon character has expired, meaning other media outlets can now create content starring a certain superstar rodent.
Furthermore, we suggested that it might be a good idea for The Herald to launch a comic strip starring a Scottish version of the character, called Mickey MacMoose.
Diary correspondent David Donaldson says: “I think Robert Burns has beat you to it. I'm sure I remember learning a poem at school that started:
'Wee, sleekit, cowrin', tim'rous Mickey,
If I wis ye, I'd pull a sicky.'”
Liquid solution 2
ON a Glasgow train the other day, reader Lisa McGill overheard a woman telling her companion about the Hogmanay shenanigans that took place at a mutual friend’s flat.
She said: “Megan told me it was a pretty rowdy crowd. They broke her fridge, smashed the hall mirror and knocked a hole in her wall.”
The other woman nodded sagely, then said: “Y’see, that’s why I always see in the New Year with tap water.”
Ropey decision
New Year resolutions, continued.
“I’m taking up tightrope walking,” says Sandra Craig. “It’s bound to keep me on the straight and narrow.”
Visionary idea
MORE thoughts on the sport of darts.
Bruce Johnson says: “Diary readers really should try darts blindfolded - you don’t know what you’re missing.”
Mind your language
EXASPERATED reader Iain Collins says: “There’s a sign in my area which explains there’ll be major upheaval due to roadworks. Which got me wondering. Has anybody ever experienced down-heaval?”
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Happy families
INDUSTRIOUS reader Ken Stephenson tells us: “The other day I was washing my car with my son. He said: ‘Dad, can’t you use a sponge, instead?’”
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