Cliff edge
SOCIAL media follower Hugh Montgomery was scrolling through X (formerly known as Twitter) the other day when he noticed the sidebar at the edge of the computer screen, which flags up what is trending on the site.
The subjects which were most popular turned out to be: "Lineker", "the Black Death" and "Cliff Richard".
With an understandable shudder, Hugh says: “Surely they must be Three Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
Now we’re just waiting for the fourth equine to arrive, then it truly will be the End of Days.”
Fly guy
MORE high-tech media musings. Albert Mirren recently started reading his Herald online, instead of perusing the print edition.
He’s mostly happy with the evolution in his reading habits, though he admits he was a tad frustrated the other morning when a large and convivial fly started buzzing round his head.
“The one flaw in an iPad’s design,” concludes Albert, “is that you can’t roll it up, then use it to bring a definitive conclusion to a bluebottle’s future prospects.”
Chippy chappie
PUB prattle. The other day reader Ed Porter was enjoying a tipple in his local boozer, which happens to be one of those watering holes that provides an extensive selection of nibbles.
The bloke at the next table was studying the menu, and when the waitress arrived he pointed to his reading material, then said to her in an irritable manner: “See these triple-cooked chips - why no’ cook ‘em just the once? How come yer pickin’ oan them poor chips?”
Termination time
CLIMATE protestors Just Stop Oil have been clogging up traffic again this week.
Reader Nicola Munro wonders if public frustration with the group may lead to a rival organisation being formed, with an opposing message.
Adds Nicola: “Their campaign could be fronted by Arnold Schwarzenegger, who would roar out their pithy slogan… Oil Be Back.”
Mind your language
LINGO expert Nick Parker gets in touch to say: “Isn’t it handy that the phrase ‘self-explanatory’ is self-explanatory?”
Jokerman
WE’RE figuring out what certain objects would be called if they had been named by the same bright spark who decided to call a two-way radio a walkie-talkie.
Bob Jamieson says: “Could a West of Scotland chap who wears a three-pointed hat and makes his living telling jokes and juggling be known as a Glesca Jesta?”
Get the legendary Herald Diary straight to your inbox.
Primed pooch
“I’M teaching my dog to fetch tools from the garage,” boasts reader Donald Barr. “He’s not quite mastered it yet. But he knows the drill.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here