Brought to book
DIARY readers are a well-educated and deeply intellectual tribe. Many of them can read without moving their lips or tracing a finger along the words.
Some even peruse the classics, such as The Collected Works of William Shakespeare (though admittedly only the pop-up version; the page where a three-dimensional Yorick skull springs forth to surprise the reader is one of the finest moments in all English literature).
Diary correspondent David Donaldson has another string to his intellectual bow. Having passed his Lower Latin, he knows that a vade mecum is the name for a useful handbook, or guide, that is kept constantly nearby.
Says David: “An old friend told me that her father, an Oxford don, worked with the intelligence services during the war and had written a highly detailed local guide for officers taking part in the Normandy landings. The handbook was called Invade Mecum.”
East versus west
SPENDING most of our waking hours studying pop-up Shakespeare, The Diary has little time left over for enjoying TV.
Luckily reader Ian Hutcheson keeps us up to date and he informs us that EastEnders is broadcasting a plot involving a fight in the back room of a pub.
“No surprise there,” says Ian. “But this is no disorderly domestic dispute, but an actual boxing bout staged in a ring. Characters promoting the event have come up with a snappy title: A Pie, a Pint and a Punch.”
Adds an outraged Ian: “West Enders in Glasgow are surely entitled to ask, ‘Have London’s East Enders no ideas of their own?’”
Funny flops
MEDICALLY minded reader Linda Jones gets in touch to point out: “Laughter is the best medicine. Except when you have broken ribs.”
This sporting life
“LIVERPOOL footy club signed a Hungarian midfielder, Dominik Szoboszlai, in the summer,” notes reader Bob Jamieson. “He rapidly became a fan favourite, though many struggle to pronounce his surname.”
Adds Bob: “Strangely enough, golfers find it easier to pronounce his name. For the main rule of golf is you play the ball where you find it.
“So, when a golfer requests positional advice, he is informed: ‘You play it where zi baws lie’.’”
Medical mystery
A TALE of commerce and conniption. Visiting a well-known supermarket, reader Scott Simpson noticed that the medicine section was promoting “Irritated Eye Drops”.
Says Scott: “I wonder what got them so annoyed?”
Featherbrained business
“I TRIED running a dating service for chickens,” says Anne Lynch from Cumbernauld. “But I struggled to make hens meet. “
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here