Footling forgery
OBSERVANT reader Deedee Cuddihy spotted a well-worn pair of climbing boots outside Hillhead Library in Glasgow, which were posed beneath a sign bearing the caption: ‘Possibilities of Future Escapades’.
A delighted Deedee wondered if this was the work of legendary street artist Banksy, who is already wowing crowds with a city centre exhibition.
The signature on the sign suggested it could be, until Deedee took a closer look and realised the art was actually attributed to B. Anksy.
There followed some intrepid investigating by our canny correspondent. Detective Deedee soon discovered it was the work of a bloke named Mark, a staff member at Hillhead Library.
He admitted finding the boots outside the library entrance before deciding to turn them into a modernist masterpiece.
“If the Gallery of Modern Art can have Banksy,” he explained, “Hillhead Library can have B. Anksy.”
He proudly added: “Lots of passersby have taken pictures of it and we’ve even had people coming in to ask if it’s a real Banksy.”
Bad language
RETIRED English teacher Fiona Watterson once asked a class in Glasgow’s east end if they had heard about cursive script.
An eager scholar thrust a hand in the air and said: “Zat when you write sweary words doon on paper?”
Game on
HIGH street banks have radically changed, notes reader Jack Mullen, with few tellers seated behind desks. He recently visited his local branch where an equally exasperated chap sidled up to him and said: “I’d love a job in this joint. Saunter round all day with an iPad under one arm while trying not to catch the eye of a single customer. That’s the game for me.”
Grey groans
OVERHEARD on the bus by reader Eric Wrightson. A grey-haired chap turned to his chum sitting next to him and said: “I’m gettin’ so auld. If I dinnae watch oot they’ll make me American president.”
Sweet… then sour
TODAY is that most auspicious of occasions, notes Dan Munro from Falkirk. For this is World Chocolate Day.
“I’m assuming,” adds Dan, “that it’s closely followed by World False Teeth Day.”
Clocking in
OUR readers are tinkering with iconic works of fiction by adding a completely unnecessary word to book titles.
Bill Cassidy suggests a new version of Anthony Burgess's dystopian novel, alluding to both the Glasgow subway and an upcoming date… A Clockwork Orange Walk.
Baking badinage
“I GAVE it 100 percent on my first day working as a cake decorator,” boasts reader Sarah Stephens. “I went in all buns glazing.”
“I just hope they have a toilet on premises,” says reader Geoff Reynolds.
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