Boxing clever
A DIARY tale of teenage torpor inspires reader Peter Morgan to inform us of his own indolent adolescent, his 16-year-old son, who slouches at the breakfast table, sullenly munching cereal while being hypnotised by the screen of his mobile phone.
One morning Peter said to the lad: “When I was your age I studied proper reading material at breakfast.”
The lad glanced up and asked what dad meant.
“I always read the back of the cereal box,” said dad.
“I once tried that with a box of Frosties,” confessed the lad. “But I couldn’t find even one TikTok video to watch. What a con job.”
Throne moan
WE continue celebrating the greatest work of literature since Tolstoy’s War and Peace, Prince Harry’s equally tempestuous tale of cracked dog bowls and frost-bitten family jewels. (Nope, that doesn’t mean icicles dangling from a diamond-encrusted tiara.)
“I’m currently reading Harry’s book, Spare,” reports Alan Clements from Cumbernauld, “and it’s incredibly relatable. Just like Harry, I grew up with a lurking suspicion that I wasn’t next in line to the British throne. Harry – I feel your pain.”
Booze hound
ON the subject of crockery for hounds. Maureen Gilroy from Partick was holidaying in the wilds of Australia when she stumbled upon a tin-shack bar where the local pet poodle was being encouraged to drink beer poured into its dog bowl.
Our reader was not amused, and emphatically scolded the barman for encouraging such doggy dissipation.
“It could be worse, lady,” shrugged the barman. “At least he never touches spirits.”
Sentimental sayonara
WISTFUL Richard Clapton from East Kilbride gets in touch to say: “I long for the days when I used to be nostalgic.”
Liquid lunch
A DIARY yarn about the importance of regularly imbibing liquids reminds Jennifer Cooper of visiting a health spa with a gal pal, and being served orange juice.
“I wish they’d serve potato juice instead,” grumbled the gal pal. “Y’know… vodka.”
Read more from the Diary: Will Prince Harry be skittled?
The cruellest cut
SURPRISED reader Stan White spotted a group of young chaps in a Glasgow hostelry, all sporting that legendary haircut known as the mullet.
“Is it back in fashion?” enquires a nervous Stan. “I certainly hope not. It’s barbaric. It’s inhumane. It was inflicted on the general populace back in the 1980s, without prior consultation. The mullet really is the hairdressing equivalent of Maggie Thatcher’s poll tax.”
A short story
AN unlikely tale. Reader Norman Sharp says: “I saw a sign outside a shop, boasting ‘50% off men’s trousers’. Turned out they were selling shorts.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel