FOR many years film buffs have debated which is the greatest Christmas movie of all time. Some claim it’s the heart-warming flick where Jimmy Stewart’s hopes, aspirations and most cherished dreams are resoundingly squished.
Others favour one of the cinematic versions of that tragic tale by Charles Dickens, about a successful entrepreneur whose home is invaded by bullies, who then coerce him into giving away his hard-earned savings.
Robert McAlister, from Fife, won’t be watching the more obvious seasonal movies this week. The current cold snap, plus the need to scrimp on heating his home, means he will instead watch a film that has little to do with Crimbo, but everything to do with how he’s feeling right now.
“I’ll be sniffling and sneezing on the sofa, watching a classic 80s flick,” he says, “because nothing says Christmas 2022 quite like… The Big Chill.”
Teehee shirt
AS mentioned above, this is not the weather for wearing anything on the skimpy side, unless it happens to be a pair of bicycle shorts made entirely out of hot-water bottles.
More practical would be a woolly balaclava that stretches all the way to the toes.
Though some gallus Glaswegians do still swagger around in summer wear.
During breaktime, English teacher Ron Mitchell spotted one young scholar sauntering in the playground in a T-shirt that had emblazoned on its front: “English Is Important. But Maths Is Importanter.”
Cold comfort cont.
MORE weather woes. Observant reader Gordon McRae says: “How appropriate that the BBC reporter describing the freezing conditions and lack of electricity for many on Shetland was… Mary McCool.”
To ball-dly go
OUR sympathetic readers have been commiserating with the English footie team’s captain, Harry Kane, who, you may recall, was awarded a penalty against France in a recent World Cup match, then somehow managed to rocket the ball further into orbit than Neil Armstrong or Captain Kirk ever dared to venture.
Says Peter Wiley from East Kilbride: “England really have to raise the bar when it comes to taking penalties.”
Claus v. Cops
WE hear reports that a chap dressed as Santa – possibly the genuine Ho-Ho-Ho merchant – attempted to clamber on top of Glasgow’s legendary Wellington & Traffic Cone statue at the weekend, and was then dragged away in a van by the local constabulary.
One local wag, describing the seasonal scrap, said: “Saint Nicked.”
Flaming Crimbo
“CHRISTMAS shopping’s a nightmare,” says reader Lorraine Dunn. “I want to buy my husband a new cigarette lighter, so searched eBay, and only found 221,000 matches…”
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