Why the man on the street has to take centre stage on sexual violence

The video went viral, with nearly three million views on Twitter alone. At the time, Police Scotland said it was thought to be the UK’s most successful ever police campaign.

Its message was a simple one: don’t be that guy.

Don’t be the guy that makes women feel uncomfortable on public transport; don’t be the guy that targets the drunkest woman in the club; don’t be the guy that uses coercion to get what he wants.

It asked men to examine their own behaviour and understand that casual misogyny and sexual entitlement helps create the conditions that allow sexual violence to flourish.

This new video is all about men having difficult conversations with their friends.

It features leading Scots sports and social media influencers and it calls on men to hold the other men in their lives accountable for their behaviour towards women.

The advert is targeted towards the demographic most likely to commit sexual offences – men who are aged 18-35.

Police Scotland deserves the praise that is likely to come its way for this latest addition to its campaign.

For too long, discussions around preventing sexual violence have focused on the steps women must take and the modifications they must make to their own lives to avoid men’s violence.

We are used to hearing advice – sometimes from the police themselves – that emphasises all the things that women should do to keep themselves safe from sexual violence.

That advice was – and is – futile. Women aren’t responsible for the behaviour of predatory men and they can’t predict or prevent it either.

Telling women that there is a checklist of safety measures that they can adopt to prevent assault perpetuates a culture that blames women when they are harmed.

A campaign focused on men and their behaviour marks a change of direction and you can understand why it might make some men feel slightly uncomfortable or unfairly targeted.

This is something that Police Scotland seem fully aware of, which only makes its uncompromising campaign all the more impressive for its boldness.

Police Scotland’s Deputy Chief Constable Malcolm Graham acknowledges this, but points out that if we’re to end the scourge of sexual violence then men need to play their part. "Of course, we are not saying that all men will go on to commit serious sexual offences – but it’s by generating these conversations and giving people the confidence to challenge where it starts, at a lower level, that we believe the culture of Scotland can change to be a much more positive, supportive and safe environment for women and girls," he said.

Culture shifts don’t happen overnight and they aren’t brought into being by one slick video or viral campaign.

But these things do help, even if the change they hope to bring about doesn’t happen straight away.

One notable consequence of the original Don’t Be That Guy video was the way it encouraged honest conversations among men. That was, of course, the intended outcome. But it was fascinating to witness – for the first time I can remember – a moment where men were leading the conversation about what they can do to help prevent violence against women.

We’ve all seen the reverse a hundred times over.

The MeToo movement was the most sustained and high-profile example of women sharing their experiences of harassment and assault. We also saw a similar outpouring of anger and grief after the murder of Sarah Everard.

But after the Police Scotland campaign there was a period – albeit a brief one – where men were actually among the loudest voices calling for change. It encouraged some of my male friends to speak openly and frankly about the times in their lives when their own behaviour had fallen short.

This new video is about encouraging more of those tough conversations.

Honestly assessing your own behaviour is hard enough: it’s all the more difficult to call it out in others.

It asks men to "be a mate, to step in and put a stop to behaviour that might put their friends at risk of sexual offending".

The so-called "low-level" harassment and misogyny that the campaign aims to prevent is often rubbished as unimportant, not least when compared to sexual assault and rape.

But Scotland’s appalling sexual violence rates don’t exist in a vacuum. They are a direct consequence of women’s inequality.

There are fewer steps than we’d like to think between sexual harassment and sexual assault.

Both require a lack of respect for women’s dignity and bodily autonomy. Both stem from a place of entitlement and aggression.

By encouraging men to intervene when they witness a friend behaving inappropriately towards women, we’re raising the bar for what constitutes a good guy.

In years gone by, that bar was so low it was practically on the floor. Beyond not actively participating in violent crime, men weren’t required to do much to be permitted entry into the good guy club.

We know better now. We know the toxic impact of locker room banter and deciding to look the other way when a friend is hassling a women in the street.

Men and boys need positive role models who demonstrate what healthy interaction between the sexes looks like.

Luckily, Scotland has plenty of men who fit the bill.

Not just the influencers and sport stars who feature in the Police Scotland campaign, but the dads and uncles and friends who exhibit respectful behaviour towards women as a matter of course.

This new video might encourage them to intervene when they see something that it isn’t right.

The sooner than ordinary men make it clear that sexual harassment and misogyny towards women will no longer find safe haven among families and friendship groups, the sooner we will reach that culture shift that the campaign is hoping to achieve.

Read more by Kirsty Strickland:

Scottish Government must address concerns about domestic violence justice plans

We all owe Nicky Campbell a debt for revealing the horrifying things he witnessed as a boy