Food for thought
LIZ Truss revealed in a TV interview that if she hadn’t become the splendiferous, charismatic and ever-so-competent Prime Minister of the UK, she would have liked to have been a food critic.
The Diary wonders what plate of scoff Liz would choose to sample first if she bagged such a job.
“I’m guessing rocky mountain oysters would suit her palate,” says reader David Forrest. “That’s the euphemism foodies use to describe a plate of bull testicles. As Liz was forking them, she could mull over the balls-up she’s made as Tory leader.”
Baby? Maybe. (Not.)
SCOT Squad actor and comedian Stuart McPherson posted on Instagram that he had purchased an air fryer. “I imagine this is how it feels to have a baby,” trills Stuart. “Lots of people congratulating me and saying it’ll change my life.”
Clean green
THE teenage son of reader Pam Stallard got £30 from his grandad as a birthday present. The dosh was a tad whiffy, as grandad stores a certain amount of cash in a mouldy cardboard box under the stairs.
“Maybe you should put the money in the washing machine and clean it up a bit,” joked Pam to her son.
The lad immediately fired back: “I couldn’t do that. It’d be money laundering.”
Nutty nag
SKIMMING the racing news in a recent Herald, Liam McGuigan Snr came across a horse with the intriguing moniker of Bonkersinabundance.
“Was its owner perhaps a delegate at this week’s conference in Birmingham?” inquires our reader, who adds: “Surprise, surprise. It finished second.”
Cutting comment
A DIARY tale about the hairdressing art reminds Bryce Drummond from Kilmarnock of visiting his local barber, where a young fellow was getting a spiky style.
When the barber held up a mirror to show him the result, the disappointed client said: “Could you make it a bit more messy?"
Glesga’s grey day
THE Diary is celebrating River City’s 20th anniversary by devising fresh storylines to invigorate the Scottish soap opera.
David Donaldson suggests it evolves into a dystopian sci fi drama, where Glasgow is denuded of its younger population who have all left for Poland to seek employment, leaving only the infirm and elderly. This care home conurbation rejoices in the name Tena City.
Family matters
A TRAGIC tale from reader Alison Roberts, who tells us: “When I was younger my mum asked me to hand out invitations for my sister’s surprise birthday party. That’s when I first got suspicious that she might be the favourite twin.”
Read more from the Diary: When the Tony Curtis look kicked the bucket
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here