Rearguard action
WE’RE discussing a once-ubiquitous toilet paper that was so scritchy-scratchy it turned one’s posterior into a post-mortem.
Hang your head in shame if you thought we were referring to the relatively amiable Andrex.
If you groaned knowingly, then muttered: “IZAL”… congrats. Gold stars will be handed out at the bottom of this column.
And speaking of bottoms, let’s return to the thorny subject of IZAL.
David Waters from Kirkmuirhill tells us that for the last 20 years he has kept a couple of rolls of the brutish bog roll hanging from a string in his toilet, and they are only to be grabbed in the case of an emergency.
Thankfully no such emergency has arisen.
“So,” adds David, “for more than two decades they’ve hung there for posteriority.”
Food for thought
THE Diary has been reporting on the nation’s financial situation, which is currently more precarious than a blindfolded elephant attempting to cross a tightrope on a skateboard.
Thinking much the same thing, Martin Morrison from Lochinver says: “I bought a loaf of bread yesterday and the price was a bit scary.”
Our reader adds: “A few feet away, in the same shop, were cakes on offer for slightly less. Perhaps it's time we reviewed history's opinion of Marie Antoinette's housekeeping advice…”
Fruity faux pas
EDUCATIONALLY-MINDED reader Hazel Colgan recalls one of her former English teachers who told her not to worry too much about her struggles with spelling as in the future most of her work would most likely be executed on a laptop with autocorrect.
“And for that I am eternally grapefruit,” says Hazel.
Read more Diary entries: For a comedian, it's all in the delivery
Edinburgh’s rubbish
YET again the Diary has freed the culture vulture we keep in a gilded cage in the office, thus allowing it to fly to Edinburgh to enjoy the Festival.
(Full disclosure. The Diary doesn’t really own a culture vulture. It’s a culture budgie, which is cheaper to feed and less likely to peck your eyes out.)
Also enjoying the Festival is music-loving Stevie Campbell from Hamilton, who says: “Is it true that the final act at this year's Edinburgh Festival will be Garbage?”
Telly talk
WHILE watching television, the suspicious-minded teenage daughter of reader Gillian Miller turned to mum and said: “How come you never see adverts on TV about the companies who make adverts on TV?”
Allium anecdote
REMINISCING reader Adam Turner gets in touch to say: “My ancestors were garlic traders. They came to this country with nothing but the cloves on their backs.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel