COMIC Matt Forde sparked discourse last week when he said it is "always a problem" when parents bring infants to gigs and now a new debate is in spate over whether or not children should be asked to weddings.
Babies at comedy shows?
The comic, 39, who is performing at the Fringe, took to Twitter at the start of the week saying: "Someone brought their baby to my show last night. Sadly it derailed large parts of it because they wouldn't do the decent thing and just leave when it started crying. I get that it must be tough as a new parent, but please don't bring babies to adult shows. It's always a problem.”
Reaction?
Forde’s Tweet was liked more than 22,000 times and debate then ranged between "If parents want to go out, get a babysitter” to “Everyone else should have shown some respect and left the venue until the baby had calmed down.”
Now the discourse has moved on…?
To weddings. A post on Twitter by user ‘Alice’ - seen by five million people in only a few hours - started the fire by saying: "Probably going to get slated for this, but people are perfectly entitled to request no children at their weddings” saying she wanted to "stand up for people who are childless and constantly get vilified for it”. As the post picked up traction, she added: “What I choose to do at my wedding is literally nobody else’s business…Not trying to hate on children, just out here representing the people who aren’t jazzed about having kids.”
Did she receive support?
As ever, tweeters were divided, with one response saying, “Sure you are entitled to exclude and excluded family is entitled to feel excluded” and another stating: “As an absolute rule, ‘no kids’ means that the organisers don't care about their friends' circumstances and if they can come or not. It means that those friends’ presence is not really valued. Are they really friends?”
So what is the etiquette?
Debrett’s, the British professional coaching company, publisher and authority on etiquette and behaviour, founded in 1769, states: “Do you love having children around and see weddings as being all about families and mixed generations? Or do you want to have a perfect and stylish day, which is all about conversation and sophisticated socialising in a beautiful setting?
If you tend to the latter view, then you will probably want an adult-only wedding, and it is therefore imperative that you clarify this decision when you send the invitations out (see below). The last thing you want is ambiguity or confusion.”
If it’s a yes…?
If it's a yes to children being included, wedding planners recommend providing goodie bags with drawing books and quiet toys to keep youngsters entertained, as well as having a children's area with movies or gadgets to keep them occupied.
However?
Debrett’s say that "no matter how much time and planning is put into accommodating children at weddings, a substantial amount of responsibility still resides with the parents….” And asks parents to be considerate by coming equipped with favourite toys and treats, but not to “bribe them with sweets or chocolates or you might find that they become hyperactive.”
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