Recent James Bond movies have turned 007 into a dull normie, says Charlie Higson, author of the Young Bond books. Of proper Bond he says: “You never see him mowing his lawn, washing his car or asking his bank manager for a loan.” No, but it’d be interesting to see how he tackled such challenges.

Slow witted

The misery of modern motoring continues, with high petrol prices making more dumbos drive over-slowly. We’re plagued with them, particularly tourists, where I live. Like tailgaters, they take pleasure in annoying other drivers, in creating long queues behind them, and tempting others into dangerous overtaking. There should be a new law prosecuting them.

Nut jobs

MPs who lose their seats have trouble getting new jobs. The popular press was delighted, believing it’s because they aren’t considered truthful, trustworthy or hard-working, which is – mostly – untrue. In the current HR nightmare, it’s just as likely to be because they don’t tick enough minority boxes. Though you’d think ex-MP was pretty niche.

Filthy rich

Chancers who go from rags to riches are less sympathetic to the poor than are those born into money, according to a US study. Meanwhile, Norwegian research shows rich people are more likely to be mean. Doesn’t matter how they achieved it, the rich are awful. They should all be arrested.

Botism

They haven’t even properly arrived yet but already robots are being called racist and sexist. Apparently, during their programming by humans, they’re exposed to “toxic stereotypes”. But what’s going to happen when bigots start being biased – botist – against bots? Perhaps they could follow Scotland’s sectarian bigots who call people objecting to their bigotry … bigots. So it goes.