AFTER years of these royal occasions you risk reaching such a level of curmudgeonhood that close friends and family make elaborate plans to avoid your company. You advance all the old arguments about wealth and privilege and probe Twitter for updated ones to embellish your obloquy, but to no avail. Those Scots who live happily outside the bubble of self-appointed political savants might not be enthusiastic participants in the Queen’s platinum jubilee celebrations but nor do they care enough to register a protest.

And besides, we’re getting a couple of days off. Even the BBC’s four-day extravaganza of obsequiousness doesn’t seem to repel many people. After a while, they get with the project and begin reminiscing about where they were during the coronation in 1953 or Elizabeth’s silver jubilee in 1977. Some of these occasions might also have coincided with happy events in their own lives, thus providing an intimate connection with the Windsors.

At Edinburgh Airport yesterday I saw some young men dressed up as comedy Elizabeths complete with pink evening dresses and tiaras. If you were a crosspatch you might venture unkindly that as Edinburgh often resembles the capital of the Home Counties in exile this sort of royal tomfoolery comes naturally to them. Or, it might just be the case that many ordinary people are genuinely fond of Elizabeth and feel that she represents something good that’s been lost. Some of the older members of my extended family simply feel that she stands for values that they feel are being chiselled from under their feet and over which they have no control.

READ MORE: Give unions their place

Occasionally too, the vehemence with which smart-Alec republicans attack the royal family makes people who have no abiding love for the Windsors feel resentful. It’s easy to rail against wealth and unearned privilege when life has already dealt you a decent hand. And in Scotland few radiate unearned privilege more than the Scottish Greens.

As they walked out of the chamber on Wednesday in protest at Holyrood’s platinum jubilee tribute we saw them exactly as they are: small, petty and pointless. You’ll see more radicalism at monthly meetings of the Rotary Club social committee than this mob.

If only they could have displayed such fury at the SNP’s decision to ensure that Scotland’s lowest-paid workers will bear the brunt of its austerity drive – just like those royalist Tories in England. Or shaken their velveteen gloves at the SNP for turning Scotland into NATO-land. But as their two leaders rely on the Scottish Government to accord them a status and earning power beyond their mediocre talents in the real world they’ll nod it all through and think of their pensions and a retirement block in that eco-village of their dreams.

Yet, the platinum jubilee frenzy also carries hidden dangers for those who deploy the royal family purely as a means to protect their own interests. Young people with little or no interest in this dysfunctional and sad brood will turn to social media to find the numbers and history of their existence not found in the BBC or in any of the national titles. In time, and as their own family’s folk memories recede they’ll simply say that enough is enough and that it’s absurd to maintain a sprawling, unremarkable family in billionaire lifestyles.

READ MORE: Scottish deference

In Scotland, of course, there is an opportunity to have done with the civic fawning and to ensure that none of our taxes will be spent on maintaining their luxury property portfolio. If independence is ever achieved it would be absurd to think that whether or not the Queen is retained as head of state we’d be encouraging this lickspittle nonsense or granting public holidays. On the other hand though, the SNP is erasing so many of their lines in the sand – and at such a rate – that they’ll probably organise a military parade down Princes Street to mark the coronation of Elizabeth’s successor.

Many Scots, though, will still want to mark these events and this should be respected too. If Scotland really does think of itself as truly diverse and tolerant then the customs and practices of its significant Unionist minority – for a few years at least – will probably become more intense and exaggerated as an act of rebellion.

In the meantime, I feel that the Scottish Government and our local authorities are missing a trick with all this enthusiasm for jubilees and anniversaries. I’d urge them to sort of, you know … take ownership of this vibrant sector. Rather than always complain about these events let’s explore the potential for Everyman jubilees and celebrations. Thus, in the Chinese style, we could mark the start of each year by dedicating it to a towering Scottish hero whose words and deeds could be marked with street parties and other civic-led folderols.

Obviously, the candidates would have to have been blessed with prominent physical appurtenances, all the better for being reproduced on face masks and wigs. I’d start off with Jimmy Reid, the trade union activist and political philosopher. On Jimmy Reid day we could all jouk about with his trademark moustache and BBC radio would play his inaugural address as rector of Glasgow University in 1972. Red bunting and favours depicting a rat would commemorate his famous line in that oration: “A rat race is for rats. We’re not rats” Why, there could also be tee-shirts bearing the legend “There WILL be bevvying”.

Margo MacDonald week would be a splendid affair as we all get to wear long, blonde wigs. Schools would have their pupils embark on projects about her life and values as a teacher, journalist and politician.

We could dedicate another year to Billy Connolly, whose big hair and glorious beard would adorn the faces of jubilee partygoers, all of whom would be wearing big banana boots. Carntyne, the edgy Glasgow east end arrondissement, would host a day-long street party in honour of his thoughtful, political etude about alienation and unemployment Three Men From Carntyne. There could be Woodbine and Wine themed parties all over the city.

Our columns are a platform for writers to express their opinions. They do not necessarily represent the views of The Herald.