The shamefaced Diary admits that it hasn’t watched Coronation Street in many a long year. Though if this colourful continuity announcer from UTV was promoting the show in Scotland we’re sure we’d be avid fans faster than you can say: “Bring back Ena Sharples.”

Quite frankly, we’d eat everything on offer in the world’s filthiest greasy spoon café, if this chap was reading out the menu.

Bring on the icky egg and chips…