He’d probably had a rough day philosophising down the Agora in 5th century BC Athens. Whatever it was, old Socrates didn’t half give Athenian whipper-snappers both barrels. “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners; they show disrespect for elders”. Just in case we didn’t get the point, “Children are now tyrants”.
As I get older, my inner Socrates emerges more regularly, albeit voiced less elegantly. “You don’t know you’re living” is a particular favourite; cue rolling of granddaughter eyes. Grandpa’s tales of ice forming on the inside of childhood bedroom windows and of shared outside toilets, are greeted with merriment or ennui.
Yes, things are different nowadays and, in many respects, better. Nevertheless, the continuing improvement we’ve long taken for granted is stalling. From the end of the Second World War, a generational escalator ensured young people could look forward to more comfortable and secure lifestyles than those of their predecessors.
Possibly, we baby boomers have had the best of it, riding the escalator nearly all the way to the top. For many of us, it was great to be young. More recently improvement has become less certain. Indeed, the millennials, born during the last two decades of the 20th century, are likely to be the first generation to earn less than their predecessors. For those born in the first decades of this century, the future may be even more problematic.
When I meet with others of my generation, we rarely agree on much. On one thing though, there is near unanimity; this is not a great time to be young. Something has gone wrong and life is much more difficult for today’s youngsters.
The symptoms are there for all to see; we need only consider the increasing numbers of young people who experience depression, suffer eating disorders and self-harm. Social media is blamed, perhaps unfairly for so many of today’s ills, but there’s little doubt it has increased the complexity and insecurity of growing up. Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram and the rest, sell celebrity lifestyles to be envied and emulated. All of us fall short of those images of perfection, but age and maturity help us deal with it. That comfort is denied the young, if, as has been suggested, intellectual maturity doesn’t occur until our mid-twenties.
Yet, blaming it all on social media is far too easy. We adults need to look more honestly at our part in eroding the joy of being young. As recently as 2020, a report by The Children’s Society suggested the UK’s children are the unhappiest in Europe.
Why should that be? Perhaps it’s because parents in other parts of Europe have the common sense to allow their children to be children, or more accurately allow them to be children for longer. I know time and distance lend enchantment, but thinking back to my own school days, I can’t recall classmates agonising over sexuality or gender.
I accept they might have been suffering in silence but generally, it’s adults or more accurately, some adults that are pushing the envelope. For example, what was the origin and thinking behind the diktat that prevents a primary teacher addressing her class collectively as girls and boys? I still can’t get my head round the news that my old school no longer has a head boy and head girl.
Time and energy are wasted agonising over the merits of unisex toilets in schools. We’re inventing problems for our children and it’s little wonder they don’t know if they’re coming or going. We also need to listen to them about their fear of inadequacy and failure in examinations that will blight their futures. I don’t recall anyone in my primary class having a nut allergy, using an inhaler or having their behaviour altered by controlled substances like Ritalin. Is there a connection?
We seem determined to rush youngsters through their childhood, exposing them prematurely to our own obsessions and hang-ups. For goodness sake, let’s back off and let our children be children.
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