Meal ticket
THE 12-year-old son of reader Ted Hosking asked dad what it’s like to be a grown-up. In a moment of inspiration, Ted explained the exhilarating process of reaching maturity…
“When you’re young, life is one big Chinese buffet,” said Ted. “Everything looks appetising. And such variety! Maybe try this. That looks yum, too.
“Then you get older, and life becomes a burger van. And you better like burger, cos burger is all you’re going to get.”
Alas, Ted’s son had no idea what his old man was jabbering on about. Though he did ask dad if they could order a Chinese takeaway.
For some unfathomable reason the little lad suddenly felt rather peckish…
COP that
POLITICALLY minded Alan Ward has been hearing rather a lot about some sort of bigwig shindig soon to take place in the West of Scotland.
Our astute reader says: “All this talk about COP26 must mean they’re filming the next movie in the Police Academy franchise in Glasgow. Personally I’m thrilled. I’ve always been a huge Steve Guttenberg fan.”
Brainbox battle
AFTER much disruption, academic life is returning to normal with our nation’s scholars applying themselves to what they do best… messing about like great big dafties.
At St Andrews Uni, the tradition of first year students dressing in wacky costumes and battling on St Salvator’s Lower College lawn, using the trusty weapon of shaving foam, resumes this Monday.
Combatants are never fatally wounded, apparently. Thought it’s always a close shave.
Cash not carried
GLASGOW criminal lawyer Matthew Berlow has bumped into the occasional nefarious character during his career. Though a visit to a Highland town gave him a rare glimpse of saintliness in its purest form.
“Tain is an honest place,” marvels Matthew. “I left my wallet on the roof of the car all day, and it was still there when I got back.”
The car was still there, too. Proving conclusively that Tain truly is a morally upstanding town.
Magical transformation
“I’M glad it’s October,” says reader Lucy Hunter. “All the dust and cobwebs in my house have instantaneously become Halloween decorations.”
Mod art motoring
WE’RE devising names to be emblazoned across the side of vans. John Mulholland suggests that galleries could transport innovatory artwork in vans emblazoned with… A Van-Garde.
Workaday woes
AN inspiring story of struggle, strive and triumph from reader Nicola McNeill. “As a young woman I lived from one pay cheque to the next pay cheque,” she says. “But through hard work and perseverance I now live by direct deposit to direct deposit.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here