WE recently published a possibly apocryphal tale regarding an old newspaper headline that claimed a distinguished general was “battle scared”. A later clarification from the newspaper admitted he was actually “battle scarred”.
Several readers have got in touch to explain the story was more convoluted than we initially believed.
The original description of the general was, indeed, that he was "battle scared". Though the newspaper subsequently changed this to "bottle scarred".
This clarification was then re-clarified, when the newspaper grudgingly conceded the general was "battle scarred".
The Diary tentatively suggests that perhaps the poor military man was whacked on the noggin with a beer bottle during a violent fracas in a pub, leaving him terrified of conflict.
This seems most likely.
It also refutes the outrageous allegation that a newspaper could make one embarrassing mistake, let alone two.
Net benefit
COMMISERATIONS to Sir Andy Murray, whose winning Wimbledon ways turned into wistful Wimbledon woes when his brave comeback crumbled into yet another setback.
Meanwhile, Stevie Campbell, from Hamilton, believes Sir Andy’s mother still has a glorious career ahead of her.
“Judy Murray should become Nicola Sturgeon’s next policy tsar,” he argues. “With her wisdom and foresight she could be titled the Net Prophet.”
Daddy’s girl
A DIARY tale about family likenesses reminds reader Margaret Thomson of the time she met an elderly neighbour in the supermarket, who was with her teenage granddaughter. Margaret mentioned that the girl looked like her father.
“Don’t worry, hen,” said grannie to the teen. “There’s always make-up.”
Circular argument
“SOME people don’t like ring-shaped islands,” notes reader Stan Phillips. “But I think they’re not bad atoll.”
Boxing clever
THE modern world is a nerve-wracking place to hang around in. Though reader Tom Law decided he needed more nightmares than usual to keep him tossing and turning at night.
So he began researching viruses, and stumbled upon a group of the nasty things called Pandoraviruses.
He says that, thankfully, they only appear to attack amoeba.
Even so, Tom hopes the Pandora strain stays safely locked in its box…
English for beginners
THOUGHTFUL reader Bob Jamieson has noticed his partner tends to get her grammar garbled when it comes to singular and plural.
“When my wife says ‘We need to do something,’” says Bob, “It invariably means that I have to do something.’’
Fighting talk
FILM fan Norman Powell tells us that movie icon and martial artist Bruce Lee had a brother who was even faster with his fists.
His name? Sudden Lee, of course.
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