IT sits there, in the shed, forlornly surrounded by half-empty paint tins and assorted garden tools.
It has lost none of its sparkle and shine (well, it has hardly been used) and its on-trend c.2010 vintage rose sheen stands out against the more practical and sturdy blacks and greys of its superior stablemates.
I said, half-laughing, at the start of the shut-down, that if an enforced period of being unable to drive anywhere and the extra impetus to exercise locally every day did not make me get out my bike at last, then nothing would.
So. It seems nothing would.
I just cannot do it. I cannot get excited about cycling.
I want to, I really do. The idea of pedalling through the countryside, little basket on the front and flowery bell to ting at friendly walkers as I pass, is a lovely one. I see fit, healthy people whizz past on fancy bikes in sleek lycra and I want to be part of their gang.
Both my sons are keen cyclists – their daily bike rides during lockdown have been their salvation, I reckon – and when they were younger, we entertained the notion of happy family cycling trips into the countryside or down to the coast..
It did not happen. I know this is my fault.
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I love to walk. I can walk for miles in rain, snow or shine. I even dabbled in running for a while, doing a couple of 10ks, and that’s something I would like to get back to.
But cycling? As soon as I got on my new bike, everything I hated about cycling came flooding back. The 87 gears are confusing and the saddle is buttock-numbingly uncomfortable within 15 seconds. Going up hills is horrific. Going down hills is scary. You might fall off and that might hurt. Those lycra-clad speed demons? Really annoying. Can’t you just go out for fun? No-one cares about your expensive bike and fancy shorts. STOP riding two abreast, taking up the entire single lane road. And did I mention the saddle?
But I realise it is time to overcome these fears and irritations.
During lockdown, cycle traffic around our way has increased twentyfold, a reflection of what is happening across the country. Cycling levels are 50% higher compared with the lockdown baseline and cycle shops say demand for bikes is off the scale. Plans are afoot to shut off city centre roads to cars and create more cycle lanes.
Time to gird my loins. Pass me that Extra-Wide Gel Super-Padded Cushion Saddle 500.
The world is changing, and I must too.
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