AFTER a week like this, we're all in need of a unicorn chaser or two. A little sorbet for the soul. Something to cleanse the palate given the swirling vortex of chaos involving the dreaded B-word.
Thank goodness then for Katelyn Ohashi whose gymnastics floor routine has become a viral hit. The 21-year-old UCLA senior won plaudits for an electrifying performance packed with gravity-defying skills, mesmerising choreography, sassy confidence and best of all: unbridled joy.
Ohashi leapt, flipped and danced her way through a catchy medley of vintage hits including Tina Turner's Proud Mary, September by Earth, Wind & Fire and Michael Jackson's The Way You Make Me Feel to impress the judges – and the internet – as she scored a perfect 10.
Yet, Ohashi's story is about more than simply becoming an overnight social media sensation: there was a time when gymnastics almost broke her.
As a teenager she spent four years on the US junior national team and won the 2013 American Cup – one of the most prestigious competitions – beating the formidable Simone Biles. Ohashi was a rising star and tipped as a future Olympian.
Until she wasn't. It transpired that Ohashi had been competing with a fractured back and two torn shoulders. She made the decision to drop down from elite level – the top tier in gymnastics similar to going pro in other sports – in the hope of pursuing a collegiate career.
I remember that 2013 American Cup outing with pinpoint clarity. Ohashi's routines, particularly on beam, were exemplary. Yet, there was no sparkle – certainly nothing close to the effervescence that has wowed the world in recent days – and at times she looked jarringly dead-eyed.
Even as a smiling Biles reached out to embrace her in a congratulatory hug, Ohashi's overriding expression was relief rather than elation. Watching it back now, the then 15-year-old is akin to a beautiful yet fragile bird, wings clipped while trying to soar high in a gilded cage.
Then she all but disappeared. Ohashi could easily have become just another one-time hopeful consigned to the sporting scrapheap. Instead, she channelled her energy into college gymnastics, joining the UCLA Bruins team for the 2015–16 season.
Over the past few years it has been nothing short of wonderful watching her blossom as an athlete and human being. Sure, there have been accolades and trophies but for Ohashi the biggest prize has been rediscovering her love for gymnastics. And she is doing it on her own terms.
That includes speaking out about the unrealistic expectations that marred her early career: being kicked out of training for being perceived as "too fat" (even though she weighed less than five stone), developing an eating disorder and coping with myriad painful injuries.
Her messages about self-acceptance and body image are candid, relatable and genuinely inspiring. The once timid and brittle-looking young girl is now a woman who exudes power, strength and verve. Most importantly, she has found her voice.
In times that can often seem bleak and toxic, Katelyn Ohashi is the paragon of all that is still good and pure. She is unabashedly herself. How many of us can truly say that?
The ballad of Kylie and an egg
YOU may be familiar with the work of Kylie Jenner. Reality TV star, make-up mogul and predicted to become the "youngest self-made billionaire" by Forbes magazine. Until last week, she held the record for most-liked Instagram post: 18.6 million for the first photograph of her daughter.
Until she was usurped by an egg. The egg – or rather a stock image of an egg – has since racked up more than 47m likes on the social media platform. Which just goes to show, well, nothing really. It is absolutely meaningless.
Jenner proved herself to be a good sport by clicking like on the @world_record_egg post. Even though millions of strangers had jumped on a bandwagon to effectively depose a photograph showing one of the proudest moments of her life. What a time to be alive, huh?
Still, it isn't the daftest social media challenge to befall humankind in recent weeks. Nope, that honour goes to the Bird Box Challenge.
For those out of the loop, the Netflix film Bird Box is a post-apocalyptic thriller starring Sandra Bullock in which the characters wear blindfolds to prevent exposure to life-threatening supernatural forces.
It has spawned a viral fad for people filming themselves completing everyday tasks while blindfolded. Predictably this has gone as badly as you would imagine, from a teenager in Utah crashing her car to a Darwin Award contender walking along a Welsh railway line.
Elsewhere, the sheeple of the internet have been partaking in the 10 Year Challenge – also known as #HowHardDidAgeingHitYou and #GlowUp – where you post side-by-side photographs of yourself now and in 2009.
If we are part of a Sims-style game controlled by aliens, someone has really dropped the ball.
The secret of happiness?
I HAVE long been a devotee of what is known as "inbox zero". Dealing swiftly and efficiently with emails is akin to a clear conscience: no guilt about unanswered messages, creeping anxiety or sense of impending doom that strikes at 3am.
Except email is the digital equivalent of Whac-a-Mole. No sooner have you dealt with one batch than another lot arrive. It's like being neck-deep in a rapidly filling storm drain.
Apparently, I have been doing it all wrong. The new thing is "inbox infinity". Rather than trying to deal with every single email, you let them pile up, ignore the rising tally marked "unread" and simply allow the endless deluge to wash over you.
I imagine this is meant to bring some sort of existential peace. But nah.
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