What did he say?
GLASGOW-BORN author Ryan O'Neill, now living in Australia, has been shortlisted for the Australian book award, the Miles Franklin Award, for his irreverent book taking the mickey out of Aussie culture, Their Brilliant Careers. It seems the old phrase about 'you can take the boy out of Glasgow' is true as Ryan tells us: "I've been in Australia about 13 years, but as Australians never tire of telling me, I still have my Glaswegian accent.
"In a shop the assistant asked me, 'Anything else?' and I said, 'No thanks, that's all'. After we walked out, my friend who was with me said in a shocked voice, 'Why did you call him an asshole?'"
Picture this
WE liked the comment from SNP MP Mhairi Black in an interview in Holyrood magazine when she decried the attempts by tabloid newspapers to dig up any stories about her. She said: "My pal, I think it was the Daily Mail or the Sun, offered her money for photos of me and the first thing she did was screenshot the offer and send it to me and asked, 'How much?'. I was like, 'Aye, if they go over £60,000, just give me ten'."
Treated royally
BBC News announced that Princess Charlotte will attend a London nursery school in January. A reader emails us with the clarification: "The school is called the Distract Us From The Brexit Crisis By Sticking A Royal Child In Our Faces Kindergarten."
Tipsy Topsy
HOW'S the Christmas shopping going? Reader John Lawson tells us: "I was in Waterstone's on Sauchiehall Street looking at the new adult versions of Ladybird Books. Two women were looking on disapprovingly when I picked up one called The Hangover. One women said to the other, 'D'ye mind when Ladybird Books were for kids?' 'Aye,' said her pal. 'They'll be bringing out Topsy and Tim Get Pished next'. It gave me and lots of other customers a well-needed laugh."
God's gift
TALKING of books, a reader anxiously phones: "Is the new Herald Diary book still available as a last-minute present?" It is indeed we reassure him. The Herald Diary, subtitled Somebunny Loves You, includes the story of the chap in the Byres Road pub telling a woman that he was God's gift to women. "Only if God shops in Poundland," she replied.
Call the polis
CONGRATULATIONS on Mo Farah winning the BBC's Sports Personality of the Year, beating bookies' favourite, boxer Anthony Joshua. Cheshire Police later took to social media to announce: "Calling 101 to complain that the person you voted for to win the Sports Personality of the Year is not an appropriate use of the service and a waste of 15p. Please think carefully before phoning us."
Only the loanly
AN EDINBURGH reader tells us he was at a dinner-party where the host asked the guests if they still kept in touch with their friends from their university days. "The only person from the yoonie who still writes to me regularly is the student loans company," one chap replied.
Sticky choice
A PIECE of Christmas daftness from Joe Knox who says: "My wife said, 'All I want for Christmas is UHU'. So just on my way out to buy her a tube of glue."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here