Beyond the pail
COMEDIAN Ken Dodd, who played the Glasgow Pavilion earlier this year, is celebrating his 90th birthday. He still has a sharp tongue in his head. We remember when he was speaking at a charity dinner after fellow veteran comic Roy Hudd, and as Roy sat down to lots of applause he said to Ken: "You'll never follow that." "I will," said the Squire of Knotty Ash, "with a bucket and shovel."
London calling
AN Ayrshire reader tells us: "Sometimes you forget how proud you can feel to be Scottish." He was chatting to a work colleague in England who had been in the Royal Navy for 20 years and he asked him if he had ever seen any action. Adds our reader: "Totally straight-faced he told me, 'The guy next to me went down to gunfire once, that was the closest', When I asked where, he told me in the eighties HMS London sailed up the Clyde on a Friday night, and as the crew took to the deck to see the city lights, the sailor next to him was struck on the shoulder by a shot fired by a gang of neds on the embankment with an air rifle."
What a change
OUR bus stories remind Ronnie McLean of working as an SMT bus conductor as a student in the sixties. He recalls: "Running late on a trip to Killermont Street, we stopped at lights on Cathedral Street and the driver told me to change the destination blind so we could make a quick getaway. While I was hanging on to the front of the bus - a Bristol Lodekka for the anoraks - The lights changed and he drove off with me clinging on. Typical of Glasgow, no one in the crowded bus station batted an eyelid."
A moment's paws
MARRIED life can be tricky. A Glasgow reader heard a chap in his local pub explain to his pals: "The dog ran in from the garden with its mucky paws leaving a trail over the living room carpet. "Do something!" shouted the wife. Apparently reaching for my mobile phone to take a film of it wasn't what she had in mind."
On the rocks
WE are still trying to make sense of the comings and goings at Westminster. John Henderson tells us: "I love the rumour that the first inkling at 36,000 feet Priti Patel had that she was going to be sacked, was when she ordered a large gin and tonic, and her departmental credit card was declined."
Heart problems
AS we run out of appointments for our GP stories, David Geyer in Kilcreggan says: "My father was a GP who coped with growing deafness by amplifying his stethoscope through his hearing aid. On one occasion he was checking a patient's heart when the batteries in his hearing aid ran out, and he startled the patient by declaring, 'No, I don't hear anything there'."
Page turner
WE mentioned a reader getting an author's discount after explaining in the Glasgow bookstore that he had contributed stories to the latest Herald Diary book, subtitles Somebunny Loves You. Reader John Love tells us: "I also spotted the Diary book in Waterston's and wondered if any of my stories had made it into the sacred tome. However after I had leaved through it for about two hours I was escorted to the door."
What's he driving at
SOMEHOW we get into a discussion with a colleague about driving, and he suddenly announces: "I'm rubbish at reversing the car out of the driveway. My wife will back me up."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules here