Bit of an excuse
GREAT to see Denis Law is to get the Freedom of Aberdeen. We remember when our old chum Chick Young travelled south to interview Denis for a BBC profile, and pointed out that both of them were impersonated on the comedy show Only an Excuse by Jonathan Watson.
‘’You know,’’ replied Denis, ‘’the BBC could have saved themselves a bit of money by getting Watson to do the entire interview we have just done without either of us taking part.’’
Hanging offence
POLITICIANS get a lot of abuse on social media. An English chap who describes his interests as “F1, birding, cider, fishing and Christianity” referred to First Minsiter Nicola Sturgeon as a “Traitor” and added: “What happens to traitor’s? Hang!”
Nicola herself replied: “I usually just ignore this kind of mindless stuff - but I’m afraid I can’t let this one go. That stray apostrophe is shocking. Standards please.”
Snow fair
THE story about Ayr’s Gaiety Theatre reminds a reader of veteran actor Una McLean playing the Wicked Queen in Snow White there and singing “Don’t I Look Gorgeous In This?”
Una looked down at a group of kiddies in the front row who were all giving her a thumbs down as she sang it, and she asked for the song to be taken out the show.
What’s it called?
HOLIDAY site TripAdvisor doesn’t just do reviews, it’s also an advice forum where a couple from Oslo asked this week: “We are going to Glasgow. We saw a programme on childhood in Scotland, and the exciting architecture of Cumbernauld came to our attention. Would it be worth going there?”
Someone merely gave them a link to a website which states: “Cumbernauld is unique in that it has a total of three 24-hour supermarkets. This is down to many of Cumbernauld’s residents being afraid to come out in the daylight for fear of being mugged, and fancy their chances dodging scuzzers in the cover of darkness and when it is quieter once the off sales have all closed.”
Just joshing of course.
Every cloud
OUR weather story reminded Andy Mitchell in Prestwick of the Texan who flew into the town’s airport, looked up at the rain driving down, and cheerfully remarked: “Sure as hell beats irrigation”.
Joke from the ark
A READER emails: “They found Noah’s diary. Apparently Day 38 read, ‘Last night’s unicorn pie was absolutely delicious’.”
Flight of fancy
A COLLEAGUE creeps us as we’re watching Cheltenham and declares: “Phil Taylor came up to me and asked why I put super glue on his darts.”
We wait till the race is over before turning to him when he adds: “So I said to Phil, ‘You just can’t let it go can you?’”
Cross border co-operation
ENGLISH reader phones to declare: “If Nicola wants to guarantee a vote for Scotland’s independence, she should ask for the referendum to take place in the whole of the UK.”
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