Island girl
THE Glasgow International Comedy Festival starts this week, and we liked the observation by Hebridean Carina MacLeod, appearing at Yes Bar this Saturday, who was asked in an interview what her best experience of Glasgow has been.
She replied: “Waking up at a party when I was 17, under the stairs on a dog blanket and not knowing anyone. That was an eye opener for any Hebridean.”
We’ve all been there, haven’t we?
Bin there, done that
TALKING of comedians, Aaron Bennett, who appeared at Glasgow’s Stand Comedy Club last month, has been talking about living in London these days. As he put it: “My neighbourhood watch has just asked if I’d like to help in the fight against terrorism.
“Last week it was to stop people stealing bins.”
Having a stroke
TODAY’S piece of silliness comes from Gary Delaney, who says: “I’m not saying this ferry is cheap, but the gym on the bottom deck is just two rows of oars.”
Staggering deceit
THE Evening Times reported this week that Glasgow City Council has asked the Scottish Government to take over the running of the Clyde Tunnel because of worries about future repair costs.
It reminds us of when the tunnel was built and the tunnellers often suffered from compressed air sickness which made them look as though they were drunk.
It got so bad that they were given badges which explained they were staggering because of their work in the tunnel.
Police in Govan however got fed up with so many weekend imbibers who had copies of the badges in the hope it would stop them from being barred from pubs.
Marriage is the pits
A GLASGOW reader tells us he heard a new take on the marriage split of showbiz couple Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie when he heard it being discussed by a group of woman in his Partick local at the weekend.
One of the women opined: “I knew they weren’t in it for the long haul when neither of them let themselves go.”
Dressing down
A COLLEAGUE was heading like an arrow towards me so I knew he wanted to tell me a story. “The missus accused me of being a cross-dresser,” he began.
I didn’t react, but he carried on: “So I packed her things and left.”
Learning from father
BRINGING up kids continued. A Hillhead reader tells us his son asked for two toys to be bought for him at the weekend, but dad said it was pointless as he could only concentrate with one at a time, so he could choose only one.
On Monday the lad came home from school with two pieces of homework to do and tried to argue with his father that it was pointless doing two as he could only concentrate on one.
Two-faced
AND just enough room for a daft gag as a reader emails: “Hello everyone, welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous.
“I see a lot of new faces here tonight.”
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