KIRSTEN DUNST in her 1950s-inspired Dior dress at the Oscars. What a sight.
It wasn’t the nipped in waist or the dynamic bust or the asymmetrical hem that caught my eye: it was Dunst’s wrists provocatively protruding from pockets at her hips.
What glorious things pockets are and yet women’s clothing so rarely has them.
Men take pockets for granted. But when women find they have pockets they are expected to be grateful for them, to think of them as great fortune. When we enter the world of pockets we are made to feel like we don’t quite belong.
Women should carry handbags. But a handbag limits freedom of action. Even with compartments, they cause a jumbled mess where nothing is at hand immediately it is needed. How many moments are wasted of a woman’s day scrabbling about a handbag? How many hours does this add up to over a woman’s lifetime in this pointless distraction dictated by fashion?
Bags are snatched, pockets are safe and snug.
Fashion is a culprit. For centuries women had no need to carry money; a lady was reliant on men to provide it to them from their deep pockets. Thus, men’s clothes were pocket plentiful while women’s clothes had none.
Now, fashion wants us thin and so a slender silhouette leaves no room for such practical protuberances.
The classic Savile Row suit has 17 pockets yet retains its owner’s shape. Men have so many pockets they are pushed to find uses for these superfluous slits, often resulting in such abominations as a pocket square.
This is an attempt to look gentlemanly: a gentleman would carry a full, cloth handkerchief for whipping out at the first sign of female tears. A pocket square is a nothing. A frippery. An insult to women who would use their pockets for the benefit of others.
Some women’s clothing has fake pockets. We buy a suit jacket or a pair of trousers and are excited about the endless opportunities open to us. Then we discover the pocket is sewn shut. It is for naught but show. All clothes should have pockets - no matter size or cost.
I frequently hear women lamenting a lack of pockets. Having no pockets impacts their life. It makes things that would be no issue to the person of pocket a bane to the person without. You end up lugging about with you a burden that men do not have to lug.
And yet, do all women fight for pockets? They do not.
Some women don’t want pockets on their clothes. These women are holding back the rest of us. There are men who join the women’s cause and carry handbags. But these are fairly few and they leave themselves open to mockery - what real man needs a bag?
Yet the pursuit of universal pockets will be of benefit to everyone. Think of how much more we could achieve with free hands and deep pockets.
How long must we wait for proper pockets as standard?
Women earn their own money now and have earned the right to pockets too.
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