Lindsay, a retired police officer, says separating from his wife has led to a better relationship with his children, "perhaps even better than if we’d stayed together," he says.
"I sometimes had to play mum and dad, but sharing parenting meant that I actually got to be a proper parent and had full responsibility. It’s not just about seeing your child and taking them to the park at the weekend,.”
His pharmacist ex Cathy agrees; "I could be a full-on parent then relax in my week off and I think it made my life bearable," she says.
There is a degree of chicken and egg about the debate over shared parenting. Why don't we assume both separated parents will play a part in the raising of a childs?
One reason is the fact so many dads still take such a limited role in the lives of children they no longer live with. Research repeatedly paints a bleak picture – one in three children no longer see their dad a year after parents separate.
But if the courts and wider society always assume mothers are the main carers, how will that ever change? Shared parenting would start from the expectation that both partners will play an equal part in the child rearing giving a clear starting position, from where adjustments can be made to allow for matters such as working commitments.
It would make bitter battles over access and care in the courts less likely, according to supporters. Established practice in countries such as Sweden and Australia, shared parenting laws are currently under consideration in around 20 US states.
Groups such as Scottish Women's Aid are anxious about the idea but any presumption could surely be set up so as to be overridden where partner abuse is proven, for instance.
A new report from the charity Families Need Fathers is pushing for shared parenting to be included in the SNP Government's imminent review of Family Law.
There is strong evidence it would save the country money and be better for parents and children alike, Ian Maxwell, FNF Scotland national manager says. “We want children to have an equally significant relationship with both their mother and father," he said. "Parents should be able to collaborate in the interests of the children long after the sheriff has gone home and the solicitors have closed their files.”
Cathy agrees. "It might not work for everyone but should be the overall goal,” she said.
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