OUR story about the wee boy pleading for biscuits in the supermarket reminds Brian Wadham: "I overheard a wonderful piece of logic from the other side of an aisle when a woman said, 'You’re not getting it because you’ve been a bad girl today,' and a little girl replied, 'But Mummy, I don’t need it till tomorrow, and I’ll be good tomorrow'.”

JIM Slavin in Bloackness is still shaking his head as he tells us: "Standing at the bar in a busy Glasgow hostelry last week, I saw a young lady order a bottle of 'house wine'. 'How many glasses?' asked the barman. 'Wan!' she answered.

"Only in Glasgow."

BIG show at the Hydro the other night was Irish rockers U2, who made it a memorable night of music according to most folk there. It seems though that not everyone would admit it. As one concert goer in Glasgow told a London-based newspaper: "Great show. Took my other-half who hates U2 and wouldn't tell her friends she was going. She loved it, had a great time, and was singing and dancing amongst the crowd half an hour in. Although she hates them, she gave the show four stars - but if asked publicly would probably only give it two stars to save face with cool friends."

Mind you, it's not that cool calling your girlfriend "the other-half" these days, is it?

WE should put our hand up and ask for the audience question stories to come to an end. But before they go, writer and broadcaster Tam Cowan recalls: "I was booked by the local government organisation Cosla to do a Q&A at The Fairmont Hotel in St.Andrews and it was really dragging on. 'Any more questions?' I asked the dozing audience as we entered what felt like the third hour of chat. 'Yes, I have a question,' said a wee old lady up the back, 'Would you mind terribly if we all went to the bar.' Needless to say I called a halt at that point, handed her the prize for best question and, yep, we all retired to the bar."

WE hear a chap in a Glasgow bar at the weekend, when asked by pals how his toddler son was getting on, reply: "He's speaking now, but only says the words 'no', 'mine' and 'bye'.

"I tried it out and it turns out that's actually all you need to get through most days."

CONCERNS that we are becoming an overweight nation brings forth from one reader the suggestion: "Just imagine that the only way you could charge mobile phones was with a treadmill. Our young people would be the fittest in the world."

SO what is life like in England's posh suburbs these days? Actor Stephen Mangan, seen recently in the mickey-taking Hollywood series Episodes, remarked on Saturday: "Overheard at under eights football match this morning, 'Otis, darling, not on the pitch with your croissant please.' Tough neighbourhood."