OUR story about voice recognition on smart phones reminds a teacher in East Kilbride of feeling very clever sending a text by voice to a parent wanting tutoring for their child. The teacher ended the text by saying "About five or six?" as a suggestion of timing. Unfortunately it was delivered in the text as "About five for sex?"

And Robin Brown in Milngavie reveals: "My daughter invited me to test her new phone by asking it a question. I said, 'What are the opening hours of my local Tesco’s?' It replied, 'I do not understand your question about testicles'."

QUESTIONS from Glasgow audiences continued. South side artist Margaret Duffy did a quick oil painting at a Glasgow art club, and when she stood back at the end she asked if there were any questions. "Who does your hair?" was the first one asked.

HAVE you ever given advice which quite frankly was dangerous? A Glasgow reader confesses that when he was a young student he lived with a landlady in Aberdeen who complained that her iron was too hot, and what should she do about it. Knowing nothing about irons he somehow blurted out: "Tie a knot in the cord - it will slow down the electricity" - and she did.

He can't stop himself from worrying years later that he may have caused her some future mishap.

WE like the confession of Sir Anthony Hopkins in this week's Radio Times that he does not enjoy working in the theatre. As he put it: "I think that at some deep level I must have asked myself all those years ago, ‘Do I really want to go through this stress night after night, after night?’ And the answer was ‘No.’ I guess I’m just bone idle.”

WE wonder howDonald Trump's campaign to become president in the United States is going. Our USA contact phones to tell us: "Trump has come up with a plan to deal with the hole in the ozone layer - comb over it."

THE death of former Tory Scottish Office Minister, the Earl of Mansfield, whose family seat is Scone Palace, reminds us of the strange tale of when the police were called when a group of Perth teenagers jumped the wall into the estate and swam in the Earl's private swimming pool before leaving with an inflatable crocodile. One of the miscreants told The Herald at the time: "We were thinking about going back again but we don't want to push our luck. Lady Mansfield is okay. There was one time she invited some people who had fallen into the river into the palace and warmed them up with cups of tea. I don't think we should upset her."

As for the crocodile? "We can't return their crocodile because we left it on the river bank last night and when we came back today it had gone.'' So just an ordinary day in Perth then.

THE World Health Organisation report claiming eating processed foods such as bacon could increase the risk of cancer, has given many folk food for thought. But as Ian Power bravely tells us: "Although I haven't actually read the WHO report, I've decided I will continue eating bacon. I'm sure I've made rasher decisions."

DAFT gag told to us in a Glasgow pub at the weekend. "A diner goes into a restaurant and says he has a table booked for eight o'clock. The waiter asks him if he would mind waiting. When the diner says that would be ok, the waiter tells him, 'In that case can you take these drinks to table two'."