Our funnyman Lewis McKenzie has noted five funny things you are likely to see in and around your city during your morning commute.
Our funnyman Lewis McKenzie has noted five funny things you are likely to see in and around Glasgow during your morning commute.
1. Dude...volume control
Who needs to listen to their music that loudly? I can hear every line of the song through your headphones...and I'm half a carriage away. I'm not necessarily saying that I disapprove of your music choices. But if I can hear it this clearly, then I reserve the right to request songs and dance uncomfortably close to you if I wish. Those are the rules.
2. It might be magic
Ask yourself something - have you ever seen The Metro being delivered? Perhaps some have and these tales shall become part of mythological storytelling. However I've been at a station for the first train of the day and the free newspaper is ALWAYS there. I have never seen anyone ever deliver it. But their efficiency is extraordinary. I can only imagine their system of operation is much like that of Santa and his elves on Christmas Eve. So much to be delivered all over the country, but no matter how great a task that seems, they always deliver exactly on time and are never seen. Incredible.
3. Run Forrest! Run!
Admittedly, it's not fun to be on the other end of this. But seeing someone running for a train or bus and missing it is perhaps one of the most amusing delights of the early morning commute. Never does it fail to make me laugh. The closer they are to the doors when they close, the better. The harder they run to try and reach them before closing, the better. Any Indiana Jones style impressions are welcome. Do I feel guilty about laughing about this? Yes. Do I enjoy it? Absolutely.
4. Why are you taking to me?
A frustrating point now. Have you ever been at the station, waiting on your train, casually listening to some early morning radio DJ with more enthusiasm that you can handle right now, whilst trying to wipe the sleep out of your eye, and some unknown approaches you and asks, "S'cuse me, is this the train to (insert destination here)?" - Why are you asking me? There's a sign up there that tells you. You have as much chance as I have of finding out where the next trains stops at. Yet you have approached me, out of the numerous other passengers around you and also, more significantly, employees of the train network, to ask me this question. I won't tell you this, as a Brit, I will politely and awkwardly attempt to answer your question before admitting I don't know. But still, could we not have avoided this social encounter? Thank you.
5. On your bike
There's always one person who gets on with a bike. No matter the 20 something people looking to get off the train, it's great that you've blocked off the exit for everyone. Perhaps I'm being a cynic, but could you not just have cycled to your destination? Isn't that the entire point? It's bad enough that you've chosen to wear an ill fitting pair of lycra cycling shorts which no one wants to see, especially first thing in the morning, but please just get out of the way when we're trying to rush into work, late because we slept in.
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