READER Ken McMaster texted a friend of his, a 'high heid yin' at a big company in Glasgow. The short reply came back: "Txt later. Just passing a motion."

Remarks Ken: "I still don't know if he was in the boardroom or simply paying a visit to the loo."

NICE anecdote in Sir Bruce Forsyth's memoir, Strictly Bruce.

Back in August 1976 he and a host of other celebs from Britain and America, including Burt Lancaster, Bing Crosby and Sean Connery, took part in a charity match over Gleneagles' King's Course. The event was followed by a reception and dinner.

Very early the next morning, a hotel porter stumbled across actor George C Scott in the hospitality room. Not only was Scott fast asleep, he was also still wearing his dinner suit.

The porter shook him awake and asked: "Can I get you anything?"

"Get me a cab," Scott growled. "I'm going home."

"What about your clubs, Mr Scott?"

The answer was crisp and unambiguous. "Burn 'em," he said.

THE match commentaries and analyses at the Rugby World Cup have yielded the occasional gem.

Martin Morrison watched Italy v Romania and was struck by a discussion on the work that goes into the modern game. Nothing, however, prepared him for the moment when someone referred to "sports scientologists."

THOSE of you who believe that today's overpaid young footballers could do with national service may take heart from the example of South Korean golfer Bae Sang-moon.

Last year he finished 34th on the PGA Tour money list and earned £1,700,000. Next year he will earn £1,000. The reason? He's about to report to the military for a 21-month stint of mandatory service.

The 29-year-old had requested an exemption from his country's Military Manpower Administration. He challenged the ruling in court but lost his appeal. His last event as a free man was last weekend’s Presidents Cup match.

Our golf writer, Nick Rodger, who passes on this tale, adds: “There will be plenty Herald readers who are used to military golf anyway, as they watch their shots go ‘left, right, left, right…’”.

NASHVILLE-based singer/songwriter Sam Lewis has a dry wit. Mike Ritchie says that during his Glasgow Americana matinee slot, Lewis mentioned that his first album was self-titled - or, as he put it: “my greatest hits.”

MORE high-rise tales. Russell Smith says: "Personally I look forward to a cold call from a conservatory salesman and discussing the offer for some time then asking on the best location when living three stories up."

And there's this, from Charlie Neill: "A major problem for the 15th-storey resident of a high rise when in B & Q was convincing the salesman that he needed 8000 bricks to build his barbecue."