OUR story about Tory Arthur Bell dumping a load of travel brochures for Labour councillors at Glasgow's City Chambers reminds entertainer Andy Cameron: "Many years ago the Labour administration in Glasgow invited me to speak at their annual Burns Supper, but unfortunately I was already booked to do the Edinburgh Burns Supper.
"I was disappointed to miss the Glasgow one as I'd never been to Hawaii."
WHAT else is happening on the streets of Glasgow? Scott Reid tells us: "A grumpy woman, looking at me typing at my phone, has just gone, 'Why don't you get married to it?' Glasgow, never change."
SCOTTISH Television presenter John MacKay has written about his career in Notes of a Newsman, just published by Luath Press. Naturally it covers major stories, interviews with Prime Ministers and the referendum. Somehow though we are drawn to his early days as a Radio Scotland trainee when he flew to North Ronaldsay in a little Loganair Islander during a blizzard for a quick interview before returning to the plane for a particularly rocky take-off. Writes John: "I ran back to the plane, unknowingly stepping in cow dung. As we flew back, the plane heated up much as a car would and as the heat spread, so did the pungent stench of dung emanating from my seat. There was evident suspicion among my fellow passengers that the turbulent flight had been too much for me."
IT'S a bad day when even your own press release gives you a hard time. We note that aspiring stand-up Chris Macarthur-Boyd from Glasgow is appearing at Drygate in the city a week tonight, and the publicity blurb states: "It can be said that MacArthur-Boyd is up-and-coming, in as much as it would be impossible for him to go downhill.… He still lives at home with his mum and dad and is unemployed."
We suspect he may touch upon his living arrangements in his show.
THE often controversial Turner Prize finalists are this year on show at The Tramway on Glasgow's south side, including an engimatic display of fur coats draped over the backs of chairs. Nicholas Hudson in Glasgow passes on: "A colleague wanders over and says, 'I see an entry for this year's prize is 'all fur coat and nae knickers', but then aren't they all'."
THE DUNHILL Cup pro-am is being played at St Andrews just now where Ryder Cup captain Darren Clarke’s playing partner is businessman Mustafa Koc. Fortunately the R and A club in St Andrews voted in women members this year so the commentators at the Dunhill don't have to make any silly comment about Darren's partner.
DAFT gag for the end of the week from Ian Power who declares: "I've decided to release my diet book in America first. I think it deserves a wider audience."
READER Jo Lloyd peruses the Scottish Government's list of available jobs in local government and notes that East Renfrewshire Council is advertising for "Hit Squad Operatives".
Gosh, remind us never to fall out with East Renfrewshire Council.
WRITER Mike Haskins has just produced the book Best Ever Classroom Jokes. It includes: "Henry asked his dad, 'Could you do my homework for me?' 'No,' said his dad. 'It wouldn't be right at all.'
"'I know it wouldn't,' says Henry, 'but at least you could have a go.'"
Well, could you do better?
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