THE logic of councils - sometimes difficult to follow. Sam Scott in Paisley is still puzzled by an advertisement in his local newspaper from Inverclyde Council which states: "Greenock Whinhill Golf Club will be closed to the general public on Saturday for the Whinhill Golf Club Open Day."
THE LONDON media are still coming to terms with outsider Jeremy Corbyn becoming Labour leader. BBC journalist Rob Smith apologised after accidentally referring to the new Labour leader as "Jeremy Kyle" - unless he actually is suggesting that Jeremy is presiding over a Shadow Cabinet full of screaming harridans, wasters and ne'er-do-wells.
Oh and in a break with tradition, the Labour Party has asked folk to submit questions for Jeremy to ask at his first Prime Minister's Questions today. Thousands were submitted, most of them serious of course. But for sheer whimsy we like the person who submitted: "Why is David Cameron’s forehead so shiny?"
"IS there something wrong with my taste?" a toper in a Glasgow pub was heard asking his drinking buddies this week. When they asked him why, he told them he had been in a Glasgow department store where a woman shopping held up two shirts and asked him, as he passed by, which shirt he preferred. Minutes later he saw her at the till buying the one he didn't like.
TELEVISION presenter Julian Clary is to appear at next year's Glasgow Comedy Festival, the organisers have just announced. We remember Julian explaining at a Herald book-event that the publishers' lawyers were very nervy when he brought out his autobiography A Young Man's Passage. He gave the example that in the book he mentioned holidaying in Portugal where he and his partner were much taken with a not-too-tall couple by the surname Plank who were staying at their hotel who were not too bright either. But when he used the phrase "as thick as two short Planks", the lawyers worried that the couple could show they had academic qualifications and take action.
COULD it be that young people are becoming a little vain with all the pictures they take on their smartphones these days? A reader tells us she was on a crowded bus in Glasgow where a young girl was asking all her pals if they liked her picture on her phone, although the girl herself was not too sure about it. Eventually a chap sitting opposite, who appeared to have taken a refreshment, gave her the wise advice: "Don't worry about it hen. If you hate it now, it will still be better than any picture you take of yourself in five years time."
TALKING of buses, a south side reader was going home on a bus when a cyclist thought the bus driver had cut into the cycling lane a trifle quickly causing the cyclist to stop sharply. He bawled in at the driver: "Did you get your driving licence in a lucky bag?" All that our reader could think about was: "Do you still get lucky bags these days? Or is is just kept in our memories in order to hurl insults?"
CONFUSING conversations with your mum, continued. Ian Power tells us of his mum phoning him and asking: "Did you just call me?" When Ian said no, his mother insisted: "Are you sure?" When he again confirmed he had not phoned she then came out with: "Who do you think it was then?"
We suspect it's not just Ian who has had calls like that.
COUNCILLOR Gordon Matheson at Glasgow City Council was impressed by an email he received yesterday from a company which was entitled "The key to efficient email management." He was slightly less impressed when he received an identical email from the company three minutes later.
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