GOSH, bit of a row over the Daily Telegraph's claims - denied by all concerned - that first Minister Nicola Sturgeon wants David Cameron to continue as Prime Minister.
Jonathan Mackie in Glasgow perhaps summed up the views of many by contacting the Telegraph's story writer, Simon Johnson, on social media and telling him: "I am Nigerian Minister of Government. I have a secret memo but need $4000 to secure release."
And a reader, with a nod at Nicola coming from the West of Scotland, tell us: "What she actually told the French Ambassador was, "Ambassador, with these deep-fried Ferrero Rocher, you are really spoiling us."
THe row even spilled over onto the BBC's singing competition The Voice which was won on Saturday night by Scottish fire-fighter Stevie McCrorie. After the show the First Minister wrote on Twitter: "Congratulations Stevie." Within minutes someone replied to Nicola: "Hold on. The Telegraph says you wanted the Opera Woman to win."
SCOTTISH stage veteran Johnny Beattie is retiring from his role on the television soap opera River City. Says reader David Will in Milngavie: "It
reminds me of the late, lamented Publicity Club of Glasgow's annual 'Christmas Lunch with the Stars' . Johnny used to chair the entertainment which featured some of Scotland's best comedians and guest artistes appearing in the city's pantomimes. On one such occasion he told the audience, 'Who would have thought, that this year, there would be two American blockbusters featuring life in a Glasgow tenement - Stair Wars and Close Encounters'."
THE Herald carried the story of the death in his nineties of legendary Glasgow barman John Mitchell who worked in leading establishments including Rogano, the Fountain, the Malmaison and the Grosvenor. Recalled Hector MacLennan: "John was the consummate barman. As a whisky salesman I was in receipt of his tact and expertise because the minute you entered the Malmaison or The Rogano he would pour my brand for all orders of scotch -Ballantines. No doubt when a representative of Johnny Walker came in the same procedure would happen. My goodness what an excuse to lunch well in the name of sales promotion!"
GOOD weather for the Easter Weekend, and a number of folk were out messing about on their boats. Says Ronnie Buchanan in Larkhall: "My brother Ian was getting his new boat out of the water at Rhu Marina which involved manoeuvring it from its mooring round to the boat lift where a crane would lift it out the water, and the hull could be cleaned and painted. It was the first time he had done this, and as he proudly inspected the hull of his new toy he found a hole in the underside which concerned him. He poked his finger in and waggled it about whilst asking the marina guys, 'Is this serious?' The marina guy asked, 'Has your boat got a toilet?' I have never seen a digit extracted so quickly."
BIG talking point after the weekend's football was former Rangers player Charlie Adams scoring an absolute belter of a goal from within his own half after noticing that the Chelsea keeper was off his line. Charlie of course is not the most svelte of players which is why the Scottish Comedy FC website claimed: "It's amazing how far you will shoot when it's either that or having to run with the ball."
A GLASGOW reader swears to us that he heard a chap in the pub the other night announce that he kept a baseball bat under his bed in case anyone ever broke into his flat. However one of his pals asked: "What are the chances of a burglar throwing some baseballs at you?"
GET your eggs rolled yesterday? The prize of a cheap supermarket egg for the worst Easter joke goes to the reader who e-mails us: "I just don't understand the wife. It took me ages to collect enough belly-button fluff to make a rabbit, yet she says she hates it. "So why did she ask me for a lint bunny?"
Sorry about that!
Pic capt: So no grapes at all then.
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