SOME folk got quite excited last week about the eclipse.
As one teacher told us: "Had to explain to my first year class that we were waiting for the eclipse, not the apocalypse - and certainly not a zombie apocalypse."
Someone a bit confused with their astronomy was the chap over on Blackford Hill in Edinburgh who was overheard by Stuart Swanston, as folk watched the eclipse: "Aren't we fortunate that it's a full moon that's eclipsing the sun today?"
STRANGE were some of the suggestions on how to look at the eclipse without running the risk of eye damage. Said one reader who contacted us: "I tried to follow the advice of using a colander - but I think I strained my eyes."
MISUNDERSTANDINGS continued. John Mulholland tells us: "My wife relocated from Suffolk to Scotland many years ago, and as a paramedic she was posted to Girvan Ambulance Station which shared an office with the Lifeboat Station. One day she was helping with various tasks under the guidance of the lifeboat captain who said, 'Next it's time tae dae the flare.' She duly took up position by the flagpole waiting for the boat's emergency signal equipment to be tested. It took her some time to understand why the captain handed her a mop saying, 'Naw, ah meant dae the flair, hen'."
DONALD Macaskill in Glasgow is still trying to work out the logic after hearing a young fellow on the Subway asking his pal whose knee was showing through his trousers: "Why did you cut your new denims?"
His pal replied: "To stop my knees wearing through the fabric."
Says Donald: "I am sure that there is some logic in there somewhere, but it still eludes me."
TALKING of overheard, a Glasgow reader swears to us that he heard a teenager in the city centre tell his pal: "My maw said my bedroom was like a rubbish tip. Well I think that's what she said. I could hardly hear her over the noise of the seagulls."
BIG day in the Scottish Championship yesterday as Rangers beat rivals Hibs, which allowed Hearts to win the league as neither Hibs nor Rangers will now be able to overhaul them. As Gerry Gallagher, perhaps not a Rangers fan put it: "So Rangers wrap up the league before Easter - just like their fans told us they would."
And crawler of the day was Craig Levein, the Hearts director of football, who remarked about club owner Ann Budge on the social media site Twitter: "Ann Budge OBE - Over Before Easter."
FILMING finished last week on the fifth film in the action movie series Mission: Impossible starring the pint-sized Tom Cruise. It will be shown in the cinemas in the summer. A film fan phones to point out to us: "You would think that now there are five of them they would change the title of the series to a more believable Mission: Quite difficult, but not impossible."
SOMETHING us chaps have never really thought about before - a woman in a Glasgow coffee shop at the weekend who told her pals: "Not wearing make-up and being able to rub your eyes as much as you want is one of the great feelings in life."
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