THE advice from Downing Street on unsustainable heating bills is:
wear a jumper*. In other news Nesta, a charity formed to promote bright ideas,** says old people should be fostered by friends and neighbours in order to combat an "epidemic of isolation" in the ageing population.
Why not put both concepts together and get your adopted granny to knit the jumper? "Adopted" need not mean taking the granny under your roof. She will most likely want to stay in her own home.
Just spend a lot of time at her place. Keep her company by a cosy fire while she knits that pullover and maybe some bedsocks.
Persuade granny there's no point in her having all that money in her Post Office account or under the bed if she can't keep her central heating on full blast. Don't mention pockets and shrouds. That's not very cheery.
The more time you spend with your adopted OAP, the less you'll need to heat your own home. You may wish to foster a small herd of old ladies to ensure all-round warmth.
The problem with having two or three grannies on the go is the risk of putting on weight. All those cups of tea and corned beef sandwiches. And good quality biscuits, chocolate Hobnobs or maybe a Blue Riband.
There will be sweeties - Werther's Originals, mint imperials, or granny's home-made tablet. Be careful not to spoil your appetite. You will be encouraging the ladies to maintain their independence by being active in the kitchen. An essential part of combating this epidemic of loneliness will be you staying on to have your tea. Preceded by a small sherry. (I had a lovely old neighbour who would crack open the bottle of Walnut Brown at any and every opportunity.)
Old people like nothing better than a game of cards so a session of Texas Hold'em with granny and her pals will while away an afternoon. Just for small stakes; not the entire winter fuel allowance on one hand.
You may offer to help the old lady put her financial affairs in order, including the last will and testament. You might even get a mention.
* Downing Street also says some of the savings on energy may be used to buy and eat cake.
** Check out Nesta, which had the very bright idea of getting £250m from the National Lottery Fund to fund its work.
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