THE European Union is to spend £5m to improve the health and diet of football fans.
A Glasgow company called PAL Technologies is to get £500,000 of the cash to supply 1000 electronic devices which will sit in fans' pockets and record their physical activity, or lack of it.
The bit of kit is based on activPAL technology which has been used for a number of years by researchers looking at the relationship between a sedentary lifestyle and chronic disease including obesity, diabetes, cancer and heart disease. As well as monitoring, the device will also dispense exercise and diet tips.
If there's only 1000 of these thingies to go round all football fans, it's unlikely you will getting a shot. But help is at hand through this column's listenPAL service. We don't have a £500,000 budget to monitor sloth and laziness but we can offer football fans some free advice on exercise:
l Follow the players' example and have a pre-match warm-up. Turn up early and walk briskly up and down the terracing steps for 10 minutes.
l Don't sit for the duration of the game. Leap to your feet at exciting moments such as throw-ins. Spectators behind will be grateful for the opportunity also to participate in physical activity.
l If at Ibrox stadium, join in vigorously with the Bouncy Bouncy routine. Try to get to a game against Stenhousemuir where there may be eight goals to celebrate.
l If at Celtic Park, copy the Green Brigade with a lot of jumping up and down, lateral movement, and aerobic shouting at the polis.
l The traditional post-match warm-down of a pitch invasion is no longer recommended. Despite the health benefits of chasing rival fans, indulging in hand-to-hand combat, and dodging mounted police, there is a risk of being banned from your football club of choice and having to go and watch Partick Thistle.
On the diet front:
l Avoid the temptation to have a second pie. In fact, don't have the first pie. Take your own snack. My preference is peppers stuffed with cottage cheese, a chance to eat the colours (although must be said the red rather than green variety are more digestible).
l On no account accept a hospitality package unless you want to damage your health with copious amount of alcohol and a four-course lunch before kick-off, pies and sandwiches at half-time, and then more pies, sandwiches and drink 45 minutes later.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article