GOOGLE has named the latest version of its Android mobile operating system KitKat after the chocolate biscuit.
I sincerely hope it is the two-finger variety as I am not a big fan of the multinational conglomerate internet search engine company.
I used to think Google was the greatest thing since sliced bread.
I could summon up mountains of information at the click of a button, verify facts when the occasional fact was necessary for an article, and check how to spell necessary. And it was free.
Little did I realise that Google and its ilk would take the bread from out of the mouths of journalists. I didn't know that all the words I write were destined to be the filling in between Google's $50bn a year advertising sandwich. This is revenue that used to go into newspaper coffers to fund the lavish lifestyles of journalists, enabling us to live in houses with inside toilets and to buy shoes for our children.
Considering all the copyrighted work that I have supplied via Google over the years, a small slice of that $50bn would be nice. I used Google just there to look at my bank accounts online and there is no sign of a cheque from it, ever.
I bet Sir Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of the internet, has never had a brass farthing from Google, Facebook, or any other beneficiaries of his work.
Before embarking on this diatribe, I had to google Android operating systems and find out what they are. It seems I've got one in my Tesco mobile phone. Without it I would be unable to receive emails on the go from companies who want to pursue banks for refunds on PPI on my behalf. Or people wanting to upgrade my phone, probably to a more expensive Android system.
Moreover, it is entirely irresponsible, as the world faces an obesity epidemic, of Google to name its mobile operating system after a chocolate biscuit. Especially one so sweet and seductive as KitKat.
Google makes a point of naming different versions of Android after fattening sweetmeats. Working its way through the alphabet, previous names include Cupcake, Donut, Eclair, Gingerbread, Honeycomb, and Jelly Bean.
Now it's K for KitKatm which is a problem since I am on a sugar-forbidden diet.
Google should have gone for a healthy option and called it Kurly Kale.
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