HERE is the second and perhaps not final list of the Buffer Institute recommendations on the EastEndification of the Glasgow Commonwealth Games.

Most revolutionary is the idea of doing away with gold, silver and bronze medals. They will be replaced with steel, copper, and lead. This is nothing to do with the east end's reputation for stealing copper and lead. It is a nod to the area's proud history of metal-working, particularly the Parkhead Forge, which was a world leader in steel casting. There is bound to be a workshop somewhere in the city that can turn out some cool modern stainless steel medals.

There will be work for local independent waste metal traders who will be able to source copper and lead from East End churches and tenements.

Popular music was a most successful element of the London Olympics opening ceremony. Glasgow is not short of singers. Lulu from Dennistoun will be involved, of course, with Shout. Not to mention Boom Bang a Bang. In fact, let's not mention Boom Bang a Bang.

Lonnie Donegan of Bridgeton, a founding father of British rock'n'roll, is sadly no longer with us, having died of a good old-fashioned Glasgow East End heart condition in 2002. So we will need a Lonnie tribute act to do a rendition of his number one hit My Old Man's an Athlete, He Wears Adidas Spikes. And his unforgettable ode to Glasgow teeth, Do Your Dentures Lose Their Flavour on the Bedside Table Overnight.

Dougie Thomson of Supertramp is from nearby Rutherglen and may be prevailed upon to give us It's Raining Again. Blue Nile can do Tinseltown in the Rain and we can expect a lot of Wet, Wet, Wet.

On the catering front, there should be no unhealthy monopolies for Coke, McDonald's, and Heineken. There must be a true Taste of the east end. Irn Bru, of course, and Tennent's lager. There will be vans the length of Commonwealth Boulevard (or the Gallowgate as it's known) offering lorne sausage in a Morton's roll.

Is there still a stall at the Barras that can be given the entire games concession for wulks and clappy-doos?

Finally, The Buffer Institute recommends that the United States, one of our earliest colonies, be invited to join the Commonwealth and be fast-tracked into the 2014 competition. Their athletes would steal most of the medals but it would be lucrative for the TV rights.