I SAW only fleeting seconds of the TV coverage of the royal birth between switching over to more pressing matters such as Deal or No Deal.
But I am sure it could have been better. More modern while retaining traditional touches.
Like the bit where official witnesses are on hand to ensure it's a kosher royal birth. No substitute bairn smuggled in in a bed pan. Or, in the case of Prince Charles, a replica of the European Cup. That's a reference to ears. The flaw in my theory is that the European Cup didn't exist in 1948.
But why no webcam in the duchess's birthing suite so everyone could see what was going on? If there is to be a royal born any minute, the paying public should have access all areas.
At the end of the day, it was just another baby being born. Unless it's your own child or grandchild, such an event is nice, but hardly riveting.
Royal watching has become a tad boring. To spice up the entertainment, might we consider a return to some medieval basics?
The birth of a prince as a spectator sport is all very well. But let's check out the conception, as they did in the old days. A squad of courtiers in the bedchamber on the wedding night to make sure consummation took place satisfactorily.
There are reports of a Tudor prince pausing to ask servants amongst the audience for a drink, as "this being married is a thirsty business".
This is the sort of soundbite we need to maintain interest in the Windsor brand.
With the current plethora of princes, a reality programme with some locked away in a tower is worth considering.
The return of violent confrontation as a means of deciding who is monarch is an intriguing possibility. Let's make it a square go; no knives like Macbeth killing old Duncan. Or maybe a full-scale battle such as King Billy against his father-in-law James in 1690. A long overdue remake of the Battle of the Boyne.
In simple celebration of the arrival of the new prince let there be a decent cigar for every male in the kingdom and a wee bottle of Babycham for the ladies.
Let's share among the poor all the gifts pouring into the royal palaces.
Except for the condoms kindly donated by the Finnish government. William and Kate can keep them.
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