Legacy is everything for any leader.
If you asked people the first thing that springs to mind when you think of Alex Salmond, some would mention his love of the horses. What about football? He’s a Hearts and Scotland fan? Bit quiet about that lately, but if they were winning he’d be all over them.
A successful leader can’t be seen close to anything toxic. You may have heard that a doping scandal has engulfed British horse racing. Who would’ve thought it, eh? Those big mad creatures, foaming at the mouth with haunted crazy eyes and the owner at the centre of the allegations, Godolphin, names his stable after Flipper. Everyone said for years horseracing was rigged, you hoped it was clean as millions of people seem so happy losing their money at the races, including our leader.
It’s all about perception. Look at Henry McLeish - saviour of Scottish football with his £500m review or the most infamous constituency office letting agent in Glenrothes?
And what about Jack McConnell? Is your first thought Baron McConnell of Glenscorrodale, Labour life peer in the House of Lords and former First Minister of Scotland? Or do you think haddie in a pinstriped kilt/skirt at Tartan Week and holidays at Kirsty Wark’s Majorcan villa?
How we are perceived is everything. Legacy is crucial to any political leader and whoever wins the referendum vote will become a historic figure.
There’s a healthy degree of ego and vanity in any political leader. I’m not saying Alex Salmond is some mad Silvio Berlusconi type, but any world leader must have a degree of narcissism. Our First Minister has avoided being a spectacle wearer - at least in public - so at least his specs won’t be vandalised like Donald Dewar’s statue on Buchanan Street in Glasgow.
Bringing it back to horses if we can, if I was the former leader of my country I’d want to be treated with dignity and respect. I would care how history and those still around portrayed me.
I’m sure when Field Marshal Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington, KG, GCB, GCH, PC, FRS, took on Napoleon at Waterloo, he thought to himself: "One day they’ll invent cars, then invent cones to control the traffic and if I beat this wee mad Frenchman they'll erect a beautiful statue in Glasgow and throw a traffic cone over my heid."
So Sir Chris Hoy was subjected to online abuse from the more militant cybernats this week. You can’t beat a measured, mature debate, eh? Sir Chris claimed independence would be bad for sport, weaken the remaining British team and pose a new challenge for Scottish athletes. Hoy emphasised that he was a proud Scot who was proud to have competed for Britain, but said Scotland lacked adequate training facilities. What about that state-of-the-art velodrome named in your honour? Now called the "Shut It Ginger, Yer Deid Velodrome".
The BBC are looking for an editor for their referendum coverage. I think I have the very chap… Oor Wullie. In fact let’s alternate it - one week Oor Wullie, the next week The Broons. Two of Scotland’s most important cultural commentators. Stuck in their ways, a wee anachronism but full of fun and homespun advice. They’d be perfect. The Broons would have plenty to say about the referendum - they wouldn’t like the bedroom tax but they are social climbers with a place in the country.
Yes Scotland have been told by leading economists Jim and Margaret Cuthbert - who look like they’ve failed the audition to be Jehovah's Witnesses - that Alex Salmond’s vision for Scotland "falls far short of any meaningful concept of independence". Jim and Margaret, who the SNP regularly cite, claim that "it’s not feasible that anything approaching independence can emerge from the current referendum". They think Alex Salmond wanting to keep the pound will come back to haunt him and will limit the country’s scope in pursuing its own taxation policy. They think it will be a token version of independence. Now if I can, let me just simplify this in layman’s terms - Yes Scotland went into the chippie intending to buy a special fish supper with a pickled onion and came out with a single fish… and no pickle. Right?
Why would anyone ever donate money to a political party? They should donate their brain to science so we can see what made them donate to a political party.
I’ve just realised why the name Better Together annoys me so much. It sounds like a Stock, Aitken and Waterman song penned for Kylie and Jason circa 1988.
Nigel Farage now needs bodyguards…well, Gaddafi’s all-girl security team are always looking for work. Like Caesar’s Praetorian Guard, I wonder if they can be bribed?
This week Lib Dem MSP Jim Hume said smoking in cars could harm other passengers. Oh, Thanks for that Dr Bleeding Stating the Obvious of the Max Plank Institute. To be honest, I agree but I don’t think the children should be smoking in the car in front of their parents anyway.
If Yes Scotland want to succeed in the referendum, forget financial experts, top economists and think-tanks. Just show ITV coverage of any football game with Clive Tyldesley commentating. Give it five minutes and you’ll have independence.
As talk of a separate Scots currency continues, so do thoughts about its name. I’d suggest The Rammy. Think fighting over money/glass cheques/empty ginger bottles. Dominations would include:
10p = The Rabbie
5p= The Boaby
Any ideas?
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