I KNOW the last thing I need to be suggesting is another deep-fried food item to add to the nation's diet – and one covered in greasy batter, no less.
If you've ever been to the Orkney Islands, you might know what I'm talking about – and agree. Because only in Orkney, it seems, in every single fish and chip shop on the islands, can be found the pattie. (Which, preferably, you have as a supper, served with chips. Or, if you're like me, one is never enough and you have a double pattie supper.)
Comprised of mincemeat, potato, onion, pepper and, occasionally, "secret" spices, rolled together and fried in batter until they are golden and crisp, they are a darn site better than they sound. Now, I'm not a big fast-food fan – if anything, I'm a culinary snob (my idea of a fun day out is going to Whole Foods) – but these round, deep-fried delights are my idea of food heaven.
Granted, for me, patties are intrinsically linked with childhood memories – you know the kind where one bite is as comforting as a hug from your mum – and, yes, it's practically a law in Orkney that you love them (although I know an Orcadian who doesn't like patties and, if you ask me, it should be enough to ban her from ever returning to the islands).
But the fact is, sometimes the simplest of concepts, particularly when it comes to food, is best. And in these financially challenging times, you can't beat the combination of mince and potato.
To then pair it with batter – well, I can't think of anything better.
This is my plea to chip shops across the mainland (and our beleaguered Prime Minister) to follow in Orkney's fine culinary footsteps and put patties on your menu.
It would make this Orcadian very happy.
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