The wife of Jonnie Irwin said she is struggling after the death of her husband.
The A Place In The Sun presenter died in February this year after suffering with cancer.
Irwin was known for presenting Escape To The Country and A Place In The Sun and died aged 50 after being diagnosed with lung cancer in 2020 which later spread to his brain.
Jonnie’s wife Jessica Irwin told the Daily Mail: “You hear people say: ‘He passed away peacefully. It was lovely’, but it wasn’t for Jonnie. It was a f****** awful process.
“I wish I hadn’t seen it but I had to be with him.”
Jonnie Irwin's wife said seeing her husband suffer was "heart-breaking"
She added that she kept asking the nurses how she could help but there didn't appear to be anything she could do.
Jessica discussed the “heart-breaking” reality of seeing her husband suffering.
“It is just heart-breaking to see someone you love so much in that state, but he was surrounded by love and in our home, as he wanted, not in a hospice,” she added.
“But it is not peaceful. People are upset and I had our three little boys to manage. Even at the end, Jonnie didn’t want to go. He was fighting to the last.
“I hated every second lying next to my dying husband. I cuddled him but he was in a lot of pain. I was constantly moving him, administering drugs.
“I kept saying: ‘Can I do anything?’ and he said: ‘No, I’m fine.’ How could he be fine?”
Jessica, who shared three sons – Rex, and twins Rafa and Cormac – with Irwin, added: “I still struggle with what he went through.”
She also said he “never complained” and he would “just get upset and say: ‘I’m just so sorry I’m leaving you all'”.
“He was not just my best friend, he was my lover, protector, the person I wanted to share my life with and it was such a mad, adventurous, fun life with him,” Jessica added.
“I feel like I’m still living in Jonnie’s world. His friends are my friends now. He renovated this house.
Jonnie first thought something wasn’t quite right when his vision became blurry while driving when he was filming A Place In The Sun in Italy in August 2020.
In 2022, he publicly announced his health issues.
The BBC’s Escape To The Country, where he had been the host of the British daytime property-buying programme since 2010, paid tribute to the late TV presenter through a special programme.
Irwin also starred in Channel 4’s Renovation Game, which ran for three seasons from 2011, in which builders and designers put their fees on the line if they did not raise the property value of a house during a revamp.
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