Our human spirit is a resilient force – it just needs a little spark to keep it ignited and defiantly glowing in the face of adversity.
We sometimes find it within ourselves – a self-motivated determination to dig deep and focus on the positives.
In my case, I also have an umbilical power pack (Laura) to constantly energise me to walk tall and keep going with purpose.
But sometimes, even with all of that, the well of inspiration seems to run dry – when I become just so physically and emotionally fatigued.
The effects of 15 months of chemotherapy every three weeks and the internal battle that is raging inside my body to fight back against cancer has taken a hefty toll. I am weak. I use hand rails where I once danced by them. I grip ledges and chair arms to help me stand up. I go with Laura and Mishka for short 15-minute walks now – abandoned are the more ambitious adventures to nearby fields that took nearly an hour.
My ankles and legs are wobbly and puffed up – matching my steroid-inflated face.
This week, I’ve been travelling to The Beatson preparing for more radiotherapy. Being fitted with another moulded face mask and scanned (both CT and MRI) to ensure tumour zaps are accurately targeted in my brain all have an impact on my state of mind.
I’ve mentioned my pal Stuart Wilson in this column before – we ran mini-marathons together raising lots of money for charities. I invited him to join me in runs almost a decade ago and he went on to become quite good at it until he had to give it all up after some serious damage to his ankle and leg during training for the London Marathon.
But Stuart saw his “spark” in my plight. He was driven to sign up for the Berlin Marathon for Macmillan Cancer Support as a sort of surrogate runner for me – like a call to action to raise money in support of his old pal.
His Facebook post on Wednesday read: “An emotional milestone tonight as I ran 10km under one hour for the first time in FOUR YEARS and after three surgeries! 100km now covered in under four weeks. The legs are getting stronger. The willpower stronger still. My motivation is the strongest. Please give what you can. #ForAlly #Berlin2021.”
A few weeks ago, Laura bought me a treadmill to help me build strength in my legs – my regime is gentle in the extreme.
In each other we have both seen a spark that has ignited something strong and positive. For every 10k he runs, I will walk 1k – and like two staggering men we will drag each other over that finishing line.
Ally McLaws is a freelance specialist in writing, business marketing and reputation management. See therange of services on offer and columns at: www.mclawsconsultancy.com
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