Humza Yousaf has admitted he "f**cked up" over how he ended a powersharing deal between the SNP and Greens at Holyrood.
The former SNP leader spoke candidly about his turbulent year in power during a show at the Edinburgh Fringe today.
Mr Yousaf's decision to terminate the Bute House Agreement on April 25 led the Scottish Greens to announce they could no longer support him as First Minister.
The Glasgow MSP then faced the prospect of losing a vote of no confidence among MSPs and chose instead to resign on April 29, barely a year after he succeeded Nicola Sturgeon in the top job.
Speaking at an All Talk with Iain Dale performance at the Pleasance, Mr Yousaf said he had always tried to stick to the principle of "own your mistakes" during his political career.
But the former first minister was at his most candid when talking about the downfall of his administration earlier this year.
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The Greens announced in April they would allow their members a vote on whether the powersharing deal should continue after the Scottish Government pushed back key climate change targets.
"All of the intelligence we were receiving was suggesting the Green membership was going to reject the Bute House Agreement," Mr Yousaf told an audience at the Edinburgh International Conference Centre.
The former SNP leader also pointed to a "difficult" interview Patrick Harvie made with BBC Scotland in which he questioned the scientific validity of the Cass report on gender.
Mr Yousaf said his "phone blew up" in the minutes after the broadcast.
"It wasn't from the usual malcontents in my party, but reasonable, supportive people, saying this makes the Bute House Agreement was very difficult to sustain and I need to think whether to continue it or not," he continued.
"The miscalculation I made, is you tend to make your mistakes when you think like a politician in a political bubble and you forget the human dimension.
"And what I did, in my miscalculation was to go, well, the Greens rely so heavily on the SNP for the list vote, if they vote against the SNP Government, and the SNP First Minister, it will be political suicide.
"Of course, the human dimension, which you must always think about, is you're bringing in two of your ministers into Bute House and sacking them very publicly, and they are going to react very badly to that."
Mr Yousaf added: "I always said to myself, when I entered politics, that there were two things worth trying to do. One is never trade my principles or values, the other is when it's time to go, own your mistakes that you make. Look, I frankly, f**ked up."
He also gave a blunt reply of "no" when asked by host Matthew Stadlen if he would ever consider running to be First Minister again.
In the hours before his resignation, it was reported Mr Yousaf was in talks with the Alba Party to secure the vote of its lone MSP Ash Regan – who defected from the SNP under his leadership.
But he told the crowd such a deal would have been “impossible”, because party leader, and former first minister, Alex Salmond was pushing for an electoral pact between the two parties.
But Mr Yousaf said there was “no way” he would help in “rehabilitating Alex Salmond in the political sphere”.
A spokesman for the Alba Party said a deal between the two parties would have saved Mr Yousaf and made the election last month “about how many seats a pro independence alliance could’ve won as opposed to how many seats the SNP would lose to Labour”.
A document laying out Alba’s position in its negotiation with the former first minister, shared with the PA news agency, did not mention an electoral pact.
Mr Yousaf also reflected on his time in office, saying he had not decided whether he would run again as an MSP in 2026.
He was asked if he took any responsibility for the SNP's defeat at the general election in which the party went down to nine MPs - it won 48 seats in 2019.
"I definitely take an element of responsibility. I was leader for 14 months and I think it would be wrong for me to suggest that I could wash my hands of that," he said.
"I think anybody who was a past leader of the SNP in recent years has got to reflect very seriously on the whole responsibility.....We got a thumping in the general election."
He said he was not dealt the "easiest hand" but he also had to reflect on his own decisions in office as First Minister.
Pressed if he made mistakes, Mr Yousaf said: "The party went through a very divisive election contest and you can either choose to come together or you can fight even further.
"I'm afraid we had the latter."
He went on to urge those who felt unable to "come together" after the contest but added that he also reflected on his actions.
"Divided parties don't win elections and I think there is more I could have done to try and bring people together in our party.
"But I hope those people in the party reflect on the loyalty I didn't have and give that to John [Swinney] fully as we are facing a very difficult election in 2026."
He also opened up on having a young family while leading a government.
While in Bute House, Mr Yousaf had a toddler and teenage daughter, and his wife Nadia El-Nakla has subsequently given birth to a baby girl, less than a month ago.
But among the most “heated” arguments the couple would have during his time in office, Mr Yousaf said, would be when she would accuse him of “just not spending enough time with the kids”.
He spoke of how she told him to “get your backside back home and see the kids”.
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