Glasgow University Professor Willy Maley on cancer diagnosis

What has come in might be considered an unlikely turn for a highly-regarded literary critic and leading University of Glasgow academic whose specialism is Renaissance Studies up on the city’s Gilmorehill.  

Professor Maley’s latest paper owes more to Missy Elliott and Eminem than Marlowe and Milton. And it might well be the most important piece he has ever written.

“In December last year I had a chemotherapy session cancelled because of a staff shortage at the Beatson,” said Maley. “It was debilitating because I was on Triplet Therapy, three different drugs which had to be taken in tandem; a lifesaving intervention. My chemo wasn’t curative, it was palliative. I was buying time, and I was already a late start because I’d had covid and there was an issue over the availability of the drugs.

“My momentum had been good but I got very down after that. Part of my treatment is androgen deprivation therapy, which destroys the male sex hormone and takes away the sheet of muscle in the abdomen. I ended up with a hernia, which meant I couldn’t do any of the weight training they advise to stave off the risk of osteoporosis and fractures, which are also a side-effect of the treatment.

“This was the first time I’d got down after my diagnosis in July.  So I wrote a rap about it, in anger. It all came out in about 40 minutes.”

Pictured: Professor Willy Maley (Image: newsquest)

What came out is entitled Schemotherapy, a portmanteau smashing together his equally defiant dual identities of cancer patient and Possilpark  boy. Eleven verses, from symptoms to diagnosis, prognosis and dreams; eight months neatly wrapped - and rapped - in 44 lines of rhyme.

A walk with his niece Norma earlier this spring led to the writer turning performer, MCing his piece at Kelvinbridge train station, where it began a journey on social media.

“I belted the whole thing out to her and she immediately said, ‘You’re recording this, and it’s going on TikTok’. So she took me to Kelvinbridge which has a graffiti wall to record a video of it. I’m a bit short of breath with the cancer, but I gave it as much welly as I could.

“I’m a huge fan of the form,” said Maley, who gained his doctorate at Cambridge University, going on to be posts at Glasgow Uni where he was made professor in 1999. 

“Seamus Heaney said Eminem had sent a voltage through a generation. And that was before he listened to Kneecap, who I’m a big fan of. 

“I gave a lecture 20 years ago entitled Wastelands Under Construction: The American Lyric from TS Eliot to Missy Elliott. I love performance poetry and spoken word and it just felt right. Plus, I can’t sing, so rap felt like a good way to go.”

Maley was diagnosed with advanced metastatic prostate cancer last summer after 16 months of symptoms.

“I had months of mystery illness,” he said. “Intercostal pain between my ribs, inflammation in my back,  terrible pain between my hip and shoulder on my right hand side. I saw physiotherapists and osteopaths, and in the end what I had was prostate cancer wreaking havoc up my right hand side which the scan showed.”

A PSA test, which measures the amount of a specific antigen in the bloodstream, was carried out in the early morning of 11 July last year. At 5pm the doctor phoned with the devastating news.

“He said he was sorry to tell me on the phone but that I had cancer and I was to go to the hospital straight away. One minute I was sitting listening to Oscar Peterson with my step-grandson,  then I was in an ambulance being told to lie flat because they thought it had gone into my spine.

“I had a PSA result of 300. A PSA of four is problematic. I was at the hospital at 6pm, I got a bed at 2am on the ninth floor. After Googling the situation, I tried the windows.”

Mercifully, he couldn’t open them. Equally, the progress of his cancer, although untreatable, turned out not to include the spine.

He said: “The problem with my spine was an old fracture and not a collapsed vertebra. It was a bit like being told someone was going to kill you at school, then they get you at the school gates and only boot you up the arse. I felt lucky that I'd had a potentially grievous spinal diagnosis. The good news was that it was only on the spine, not in it.”

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This grammatical nuance had a huge bearing on Maley’s prognosis and personal outlook. He has posted his notice to retire from the job at the university he has held for 30 years, and has applied his skills of academic rigour to researching chemotherapy and cancer.

He said: “There’s something called the Gleason score for prostate cancer, which goes from one to 10, and I’m 10. It’s metastatic cancer, and when it comes to cancer the m-word is more serious than the c-word. If it’s out the box and in the bones, as I say in the rap, then that’s a problem.”

Maley hopes Schemotherapy will reach other men and encourage them to become more aware of changes in their bodies.

“Biology, anatomy and pharmacy are things that people are completely ignorant about, men in particular,” he said. “Men in Scotland are twice as likely to die of prostate cancer as men in London. There are many complicated reasons for this including diet, fatalism, avoidance, geography and transport. But there’s also pig ignorance. A lot of men don’t know a thing about their bodies. Women grow up far more aware of their bodies than men. I was diagnosed at 62, a professor at a leading institution for cancer research, and I literally didn’t know my arse from my elbow.”

The professor applauds public info campaigns such as  last year’s Early Bird public awareness raising campaign by NHS Scotland and the government but feels the Scottish government could be doing more.

“The union must be bad for us if people in Scotland are more likely to die from cancer than people in England. But the Scottish Government should take a look at their priorities and ask themselves if they are really tending to one of their most vulnerable marginalised communities, people with cancer. There’s a lot of catching up to do.

“ An ex-student was at a doctor in Belgium and was told he should be getting an annual PSA check. He’s 45. A screening programme for prostate cancer would be welcome in Scotland.”

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In November, his friend, musician Bill Alexander of the band Possil Mor, launched a petition for the Scottish Government to introduce such a programme. It remains under consideration. 

Maley has already brought change in his own circle prompting pals to get checked. One has since had his prostate removed, another two are on watch lists.

“It’s too late for me, but I want others to be aware. If you’re up to pee more often, have pain in your groin, tailbone, hip or legs, don’t just think it’s about getting older. You’re entitled to an old age and you’re entitled to feel well. Get it seen to. As I say now, full spectrum on the rectum.”

Come retirement, the professor hopes to spend more time on Arran and in the south of Spain, with wife Dini, and their family and friends. There’ll be more football, too.

“I’ve missed watching World Cup Finals because I’ve been marking essays,” he said. “I gave up a ticket to the game when Celtic beat Rangers 5-1 because I had marking. My kick-the-bucket list involves turning that around. Family, friends and football.”

'I can’t sing, so rap felt like a good way to go' (Image: newsquest)

Maley’s demeanour,  conversational vigour and razor humour are not those of a man on a life sentence.

He said: “One of the laughs we had was when I phoned the Gartnavel and asked them when I was having my autopsy. They told me I wasn’t getting an autopsy. I insisted I’d been told I was getting an autopsy. I meant biopsy. I couldn’t stop saying it after that.

“My quality of life has been high. I eat better than I ever did, I’ve stopped drinking, I sleep better than I ever did, and my stress is down to zero, because when you’re told you have advanced metastatic prostate cancer, that changes your outlook on life.

“I see much more now I see my sunrises and sunsets and the leaves coming back on the trees. I soak all that in. Every minute matters.”

To find out more about symptoms and prostate cancer visit: prostatecanceruk.org

SCHEMOTHERAPY 

By Willy Maley 

For Shug Hanlan

Started out

When I lost ten kilo

Asked the doc

What’s the deal-o

News was bad

With the diagnosis

It got worse

With the full prognosis

Found myself

Staring in the abyss

Staring back

Was metastasis

It’s taken root 

Down in my stones

Now it’s out the box

And in my bones

No reprieve 

No last-ditch hero

The cards are dealt

This is endgame zero

Doc has a plan

Start with chemo

He’s a pioneer

Call him El Supremo

Business as usual

That’s my M.O.

This disease

Didn’t get the memo

Can’t stand crowds 

Can’t go on a demo

One shot left 

At finding Nemo

Soon be boarding 

A long black limo

If I don’t get this poison

Out of my haemo

Can’t do this alone

I need a team-o

There’s no cure 

But a boy can dream-o. 

Gotta dream

Gotta scheme

Gotta keep going…