When Donald Dewar was first minister he promised Scottish solutions to Scottish problems. Big deal. Now we can have Scottish problems instead of English solutions. At least on XL Bully dogs.
The UK Government announced in September that it would be banning the ticking teeth-bombs in the New Year. SNP ministers were appalled at such clarity of purpose and had a giant faff about.
There were meetings and consultations and then Humza Yousaf said he thought nothing need be done as we had Scottish bits of paper to protect folk from the monstrous mutts.
The system was “very controlled” and “quite tight”, he insisted.
There were warnings - so many pesky warnings - about owners south of the border sending their animals north for sanctuary. Farewell Tyson, hello Dundee.
But still SNP ministers were sure all was well. Bad dogs and bad owners were the issue. “Deed, not breed” the mantra. Besides, #Londonbad and all that, wink wink.
Then reports started pouring in about a mass migration of the volatile beasts and suddenly Mr Yousaf wasn’t so sure anymore. He had a Scottish problem on his hands.
But where to find a solution? If only there was a solution. If only…
Uh-oh, he thought. There is. Break glass and reach for Westminster.
And so it was that one of the most dispiriting, least impressive episodes of recent times at Holyrood was brought to a close at FMQs. SNP MSP Jim Fairlie teed up the U-turn.
“Like many other members, I have been contacted by constituents about the Scottish Government’s position on the XL bully dog breed,” he said.
“Will the First Minister outline when his Government will reach a decision on the issue?”
Mr Yousaf gulped. He had indeed reached a decision. Another one.
After a mandatory gripe about process, he admitted: “I’m afraid that it has become clear in the past few weeks that we have seen a flow of XL bully dogs to Scotland as a result of a number of people bringing such dogs to the country.
"That being the case… we will, in essence, replicate the legislation that exists in England and Wales here in Scotland.
“Ultimately, although we have a very good system of dog control notices and we take a deed-not-breed approach, we must respond to the situation as it currently stands.”
That it stands like that because of Scottish Government stupidity wasn’t mentioned.
The FM also revealed his plan for dealing with the Horizon IT scandal in Scotland, where, as is traditional, the Crown Office prosecuted the innocent, not the Post Office.
Undoing the convictions looks tricky. His idea? You guessed it. Let Westminster do it.
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